One Last Chance
by Shirohikari
Summary: YAOI A mistake made on Kai's part, and things spiral out of control. KaiRei
1. Running away

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**One Last Chance **

Yaoi.

KaiRei

Standard disclaimer applies -

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'_In life, we are bound to commit foolish mistakes. What determines our character and future, however, is our individuality in perceiving the situation, and righting those wrongs. _

'_Sometimes, we choose the wrong paths; we make the wrong decisions – decisions that turn us into an empty __shell__ of chaotically churning regret. And sometimes, we are allowed the chance to write our future once more. '_

_

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Chapter 1: Running away

The young man kicked up the dust with his feet as he walked along the sandy road, watching with mild interest as the rising sand formed swirling clouds, dissipating as quickly as they had appeared.

He lugged the strap of his sling bag further up his shoulder, attempting to get it to a more comfortable position.

It was roughly six in the evening, and the glowing sun was rapidly sinking past the horizon, giving the surroundings a breath taking magical glow.

He quickened his footsteps. It was getting late. The others must have figured he was not there by now. He could not be caught. He would not allow himself to be caught. Or maybe, just maybe, he wanted to make sure that nothing could change his mind.

'Stop it', he commanded himself.

He did not have any regrets. He was sure that he did not want to turn back, for he had no incentive to. Honestly.

He was good at lying. He lied to himself all the time. The trouble was, he never believed himself.

Seeing the station in the distance, he started jogging. Travelling the 3 miles by foot with a heavy luggage bag was not an appealing ordeal, and he was tired. He joined the end of the stretching snake of humans, setting his bag down and rubbing his aching shoulders.

He still recalled someone who was able to provide the best relief. A certain someone who had a magical touch when it came to massaging.

Especially after a long tough tiring day.

He groaned softly in remembrance.

* * *

_He was sore, tired and utterly miserable. _

_He longed to take a __bath__, but could not seem to muster the strength to even pull himself out of __bed__. Once he had slumped onto his __bed__, he had promised his aching __body__ that not one __single__ movement would even be thought about being done. _

_He closed his eyes, and was about to fall into a much needed slumber when a teasing __voice__ reached him. _

"_I never knew that one pathetic __shopping__trip__ could tire out one of the supposedly best bladers in the world." _

_His eyes snapped open immediately. _

_Two toned __hair__, and piercing mahagony eyes._

_He groaned. He did not wish to deal with his sarcastic non-too sympathetic captain right now. But his pride had taken a blow and there was no way that he was going to back down, even if it was only a __light__taunt. He flung a __hand__ over his face in barely concealed fatigue._

"_Well, when you happen to go __shopping__ with Mariah and when she happens to dump all her __shopping__bags__ on you, you would be dead tired too. Besides, I was the one who had to drag Tyson out of the buffet __store__!" His __voice__ grew louder as he continued ranting, tone fuelled by the non-existent justice he had been given. The stress that had been building up during the day had finally found an outlet and the source was not drying up anytime soon. _

"_And why was I the one who had to drag Tyson out? Kenny was stuck in the damn electronic __shop__, Mariah was off __shopping__ again, leaving her __shopping__bags__ behind for me to carry, Max was sugar high, after having downed the entire bottle of sugar, and my dear captain, yes, that means you, blew off your rightful captain duties, yes, that means what you are supposed to be trusted to do, stating that you were too embarrassed to be seen in the same __shop__ as Tyson, much less dragging him out. Sure, but did you spare a thought for ME?" _

_He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, which he had not realized had been squeezed shut until that moment. _

_There was no one there. _

"_Um, Kai? Where the hell are you?" _

_Suddenly, he __felt__ the pressure of two strong hands upon his shoulders, __moving__ up and down in assured motions, thoroughly and expertly massaging him. _

_He __felt__ the tension from the day being slowly drained away, talented fingers easing his muscles. _

_It __felt__ like paradise. _

_It worked better than hot water running down his __body_

_The hands moved across his __skin__ like liquid, sliding up and down, leaving a warm trail behind. _

_He could not help but lean into the irresistible touch, a purr escaping his mouth. _

_He heard a chuckle. _

"_The kitten purrs!" He heard Kai comment in a mock surprised tone. He could practically hear the smirk that tail-ended the passing remark. That idiot. _

_He growled, and disregarding the promise he had made moments ago of not moving, swung his __pillow__ at Kai's head with all of his remaining strength. _

_Which Kai ducked easily, naturally. This time, Kai let out a genuinely amused laugh. _

_This only served to infuriate Rei further, and picking up his second __pillow__, he threw it forcefully at Kai's head, hitting it square on target. Kai had been too busy laughing to himself to foresee the oncoming missile. _

_Kai's rare expression of shock soon turned into that of fury when he heard the laughter that accompanied his injury, rubbing salt into the wound._

_He growled, and reached for his own __pillow__. In under five seconds, they were engaged in a full fledged __pillow__ fight._

_

* * *

_

He smiled softly to himself in amusement. That had been one of the rare moments when Kai had let go of the tight leash he kept himself on, proving that he could be a fun, sociable person when he wanted to.

"Next!"

The young lady raised her head to face the Chinese teenager in front of her, causing her forehead to be abactinal to him. His amber eyes were dimmed somewhat with blatant worry.

"I'm sorry sir. It appears that there has been a technical difficulty of some sort at the other station, and the earliest bus which is due to arrive next would only make it here tomorrow." Her tone was polite, but laced with a hint of sympathy as she watched the man frown. The contour lines deepened significantly as his forehead creased.

"I'll get a ticket for the next bus to the airport," he said finally, managing to offer a strained smile.

"Right away sir." Her fingers flew rapidly across the keyboard as she typed.

She handed the young man a ticket about the size of an identification card, complete with a white base.

He received it with both hands and gave her a polite nod of the head.

"Next!"

He stepped out of line to head for a seat partly concealed behind the leafy foliage of a potted plant.

Lowered his black bag onto the carpeted floor beside him carefully, he stretched across his seat, leaning over to glance through the plant, making sure that he could not be spotted clearly. The thick, wide leaves of the plant were just the right entity to obscure anybody's vision of him.

He wanted to make sure that he could not be spotted easily.

Just in case.

Once he was satisfied, he settled himself into the hard wooden seat, attempting to make himself comfortable.

Idly, he began twiddling his identification card between the fingers of his right hand, managing to perform a tricky and fanciful twirl with it. As it spun, a certain section of it caught the luminous light directed from the fluorescent tube, reflecting it back. It just so happened that that was the part where, printed boldly in capital letters with jet black ink, his name was.

And it read: REI KON.

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End Chapter One


	2. Just the beginning

Standard disclaimer applies -

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'_Be careful with what you wish for. _

'_It is human __nature__ to determine the correct paths by first erring, and sometimes, these mistakes take a toll on our destiny. And through all the ridiculous choices we make and the pitfalls we mark out for ourselves, a comfortable constant in our lifes would be finding comfort in those around us – people whose company we delight in. _

'_So take a deep breath, open your eyes wide, and never let them out of your sight.'

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Chapter 2: Just the beginning

Roughly 70 miles away, Kai stood staring outside the window, where the pristine white snowflakes drifted slowly down from the rapidly darkening sky.

He was staring, but not actually seeing.

His legs were set slightly apart; firmly planted on the ground, arms crossing each other in a defensive stance, eyes bleak and hard, and a slight annoyed frown lightly graced his lips, as was his customary fashion.

But if you knew him, you would notice that his arms were slacker, expression not as bitter and cold, nor as hard. And if you looked really closely, you could almost distinguish the obscure longing in his eyes.

This Kai was not one that was normally seen, not the same person whom everyone thought he was – the self-assured, arrogantly detached captain of a World-class Beyblading team.

He murmured unintelligibly. His voice sounded lost and desperately confused, something that was just not Kai.

He knew that he was supposed to be intelligent, as one of the top subjects under Bivolt. He knew that he was supposed to be manipulative, as the grandson of Voltaire. He knew that he was supposed to be tactful and perceptive, as the team leader of one the greatest teams.

He also knew that he had just committed the dumbest mistake that he could ever make.

'Not could, would,' he corrected himself silently, mentally berating that that would be the last of such a foolish course of action.

He had hurt Rei.

The thought sent a dull thrust of pain within his stomach, almost as if someone had plunged a blunt knife within him, the pain was so excrutiating that it numbed all senses.

He was such a complete idiot. A depreciative smirk made its way to his lips, unbidden, and Kai lowered his head slowly, letting his slate bangs slide forward to hide his haunted eyes that told of his lack of sleep.

The knife within twisted.

Mental anguish, he mused. He had heard somewhere, once, that it was a thousand times more horrible than physical pain. They said it was because it was linked to emotions. That was something to think about. What hurt more – a crashing wave of depression, or a kick to the shin.

If he was not mistakened, what he was experiencing now was regret. Regret.

Regret so great that the ache to do better dominated his mind. Regret so deep that he had to bite his lower lip, his eyes pressing shut painfully as he contemplated his stupidity. He had ruined all chances of a platonic relationship with Rei, and maybe something more, in less than a second.

He knew that it had not been just that one incident, for to fall out with someone whom you knew you had grown a undeniably stalwart bond with on just one incident would have been just plain obtuse.

He also knew that it was not entirely his fault. After all, it took two hands to clap, did it not?

No, it had been more than that. The matter had been something more complex, something that he had yet to figure out properly, to be able to piece the puzzle together. Given normal circumstances, Rei would have taken it in his stride and let the matter drop. However, he had been irritated and on a short leash. That much was clear.

Then there had been a series of events leading up till the point where Rei had gotten so frustrated he was not thinking straight anymore. Events that contributed to the burning animosity that their once comfortable camaderie had warped into.

However, what his mind was going through now was which particular event had sparked everything off – trying to pinpoint the exact moment that had strained their relationship.

He knew that it was unimportant, that remembering would not serve to get Rei to forgive him, or to change the way things had progressed. He knew that it would do nothing to mend the inexorable fissure.

His mind was just naturally stubborn.

He remembered it now. This was probably the one that had incited the rest. How could he ever forget it? It was embedded in his brain, like an obstinate thorn in his side.

He remembered it as if it just happened but a minute ago.

The scene was vivid; realistic; crystal clear.

Too vivid.

Too realistic.

And much too clear.

* * *

_The Bladebreakers were on __holiday__ as there was a break in tournaments. The BBA had given them a paid well-deserved break and they were currently in Hawaii, along with The White Tigers. _

_Kai gritted his teeth angrily. Rei had gone to Mao's __house__ for a friendly visit to catch up on the old times. Well, at least that was what she claimed when she came to pick Rei up - a visit. _

_Kai snorted. He was not fooled. He had seen the predatory gleam in her eyes. It was quickly replaced with a civil smile, but it was probably because he had been glaring murderously at her. _

_The smile was so saccharine sweet it made him sick. _

_He wanted to call Rei. Just to check up on him, of __course__. That was truthfully all he wanted to do. After all, though they were on __holiday__, it would never do to let their beyblading skills __rust__, and thusly, there would b__e training__ the next day. He had to call Rei and inform him of the new development in the __plans__. At least, that was how he convinced himself to think so. _

_However, calling a team mate just to inform him of training went against what was expected of him, and committing such an act would be suspect. _

_Kai growled deep in his throat. He needed an excuse._

_He started pacing up and down the hotel room restlessly, his face set in a deep frown. He paused, tapping his foot lightly but impatiently on the carpeted floor_ before resuming his incessant pacing.

Across the room, Tyson observed this keenly. Though he did not show it, this openly restless side of Kai was new to him, and he was rather curious. However, this did not stop him from finding Kai's newfound attitude irritating, to say the least.

_It was grating against his nerves. _

"_For heaven's sake Kai! Stop __walking__ up and down! What's eating you?" Tyson finally snapped. _

_Kai wavered in mid-step and sent a growl in Tyson's direction. And then, completely ignoring Tyson's request, or rather, order, he continued his marching with renewed vigor, seemingly determined to wear down the carpet. _

_The rhythmic footsteps, slightly deadened by the carpets, reverberated loudly in Tyson's auditory canals. _

_Tyson was not ignorant of this. He even paused in __stuffing__ his mouth full of potato chips for a moment. But that one moment was enough. The tips of Tyson's ears were slowly turning an interesting shade of pink. It was a sure sign that his temper was building. He could hardly make out what the commentator was saying on the __television__screen_

_Max scooted a little further off from Tyson, wisely keeping his mouth shut. _

_Tyson's ears were an unblemished shade of pink by now, and the colour was slowly but surely making its way to his cheeks, turning it __rose_

_He was going to explode. _

_Suddenly, Max, who was closer to the __television__ let out a delighted giggle. _

_If there was one thing Tyson hated more than being deprived of food, it was missing something on screen. _

_He lost it. _

"_DAMN YOU KAI!" _

_He leapt up from his seat and raced towards the prepared Kai, aiming to punch Kai square on the nose when Kenny entered the room, yelling at the top of his __voice_

_He stopped dead, however, when he caught sight of the positions that Kai and Tyson were in. There was complete silence in the room. Kai broke it by coughing and taking one step away from Tyson. _

"_What were you about to say Kenny?" He intoned. _

"_Um...yeah...the BBA just extended the __holiday__ by one week, and the last day would be a party that every team has to attend. They booked the club!"_

_Kai was not one to miss an opportunity, with Rei as an exception, and immediately leapt on this one. _

"_I'll tell Rei." He growled, before making a hasty exit from the room, leaving three very stunned team members staring after him. _

"_Now what was that all about?" Kenny asked. _

_Tyson shrugged his shoulders. _

"_I have no idea." He offered. _

_-_

_Mariah shut the door behind Rei, all the while smirking knowingly at him. _

"_A crush on Kai huh?" she smirked nastily. _

_Rei blushed a deep crimson, eyes darted around the room quickly. _

"_Shush! Not so loud. Promise you won't tell anyone Mariah? You promised right? You -" _

"_Relax Rei. I'll keep my word. Besides, I chased Lee, Kevin and Gary out of the town. Don't _

_worry. I know how they would react. Lee would probably march over to your hotel and force Kai to sign a contract stating that he is to marry you or something." _

_She let out a pleased laugh. _

_She had known that the two of them were crazy about each other. Call a crazed yaoi fangirl's instinct. She had been waiting for this day. Rei finally admitted it. At long last. _

_But Rei was the easy one. Kai, on the other __hand__, might prove to be a bit of a problem, which was still kind of like an understatement. _

"_Hold on Mariah. I got to go to the __toilet__. Be back in a minute. Then you can show me the __video__ tape you got from our village." _

_She waved him away. She needed to plot how to get Kai to admit that he liked Rei as well. _

_That definitely needed some brains. _

"_Ring r__ing __ring__!" _

_Her thoughts were interrupted by the insistent __telephone_

"_Hello?" she snapped. _

"_Rei." The other __voice__ snapped back. _

_Her eyes widened in surprise. Kai? What was he calling for? _

_Her mind working fast, scheming how to turn the __phone__ call into an opportunity. _

_She was pretty learned in affairs of the heart, and it had been proven time and again that jealousy, though dangerous due to the high back-firing rate, was always a good weapon to wield in desperate cases. _

_When one party was extremely stubborn was enough for the case to be labelled 'desperate'. _

"_Rei's not available at the moment. He is...getting ready." _

_There was a short pause at the other __line_

_Then a deep growl. _

"_I'll wait." _

"_Oh...I'm not so sure about that. I've heard that some __guys__ take a long time preparing...for these kind of __stuff__. Especially…" _

_She let out a short laugh. _

"_Especially what?" Kai muttered. His __voice__ was low and deadly. _

"_Especially...," she was chocking on her own laughter now, "especially if they're virgins!" The previously barely concealed laughter escaped from her lips, ringing throughout the room. _

_The next second, all that reached her ears was the sound of a dead __line_

"_Kai? Kai?" when she received no answer, she smiled amusedly to herself. _

_People thought he was cool? People thought that he was calm? They were sorely mistaken. _

_There a flushing sound, and Rei stepped out of the __toilet_

"_Who was that?" he asked, staring pointedly at the __phone__ lying still in Mariah's hands. _

"_No one." _

_She placed the __phone__ back in its cradle, before smiling innocently up at him. _

"_No one at all." _

_-_

_It was eleven at night, and Rei had yet to return. _

_Kai was fuming mad. _

_What the hell did Rei think he was playing at? They had training tomorrow for goodness sake! _

_Then, his anger ebbed away slowly, only to be replaced with lingering trepidation. _

_What if Rei had been raped? What if he had been kidnapped, or abducted. _

_He knew that he should not have let Rei go in the first place. At the very least, he knew that he should have set a curfew for him. _

_What if Rei was lying dead beside some god-forsaken ditch right now? He could just picture it: Rei's broken __body__, stained with his blood, his once happiness-filled amber eyes now lifeless and glassy. No more feelings; no more life._

_The click of a door announced Rei's return. _

_Kai leapt up, anxiety swiftly transforming into boiling anger. _

"_What the hell do you think you were doing at Mariah's house? Do you even know what the time is now? Do you - " _

_He was cut off by Rei. "What's your problem Kai?" _

"_What is my problem? What did you do at Mariah's house?" _

"_We watched a video-" _

_Kai snorted in disbelief. _

"_Sure. Whatever." _

_Rei shook his head disgustedly. _

"_Why ask when you don't even care? When you don't even listen?" _

_He bypassed Kai and stormed to his room, slamming the door behind him, causing the white plaster walls to shake from the force of it. _

_Kai stared after the door of Rei's room, stunned.

* * *

_

Kai was shaken out of his reverie when the door of his room was flung open and Tyson burst in, clothes askew and hair in disarray.

Tyson paused to catch his breath, before spotting Kai standing beside the window, attention solely focused on him.

"Kai? Kai!"

He swung around and yelled in Kai's face.

"Rei's missing!"

What? Kai felt the world tilt off its axis. He felt light headed, for some inexplicable reason.

"Well? Aren't you going to do something?" Tyson screamed at him, desperation etched plainly on his face.

It was not a question of doing something, it was more of knowing what to do. He stared blankly back at Tyson, face void of emotion, thougths behind the façade swirling ceaselessly in a vortex.

Tyson let out a frustrated groan and sped out of the room once more.

Kai stumbled to his bed, the migraine too much to handle all of a sudden.

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End Chapter Two


	3. The Party

Standard disclaimer applies -

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'_Autumn leaves of faded crimson drift almost lazily down from the trees, colour set against the blue of the sky, complementing. _

'_You reach an up-turned palm out, wanting to catch one such falling leaf, your eyes alight with adorable childish delight as you partake in such a simple pleasure. _

'_It has me smiling covertly, as a twirling silver of burgundy lands gently into your grip. You glance up at me, a pleased grin stretching across your face. In return, the corners of my lips turn up ever so slightly. _

'_Then the trees and the leaves fade away, and the crisp morning air turns stale and torrid. You are staring at me, but the grin is gone, replaced with an acerbically accusing glare that pierces through my skin, making me shiver in consternation. _

'_I try desperately to reach out to you, but you disappear along with the scenery, and the next thing I know, I am waking up in my bed, drenched in my perspiration, eyes wide and unseeing, laboured breath coming in short gasps. _

'_The memories leave me an emotional wreck. They always do, and yet, I find myself not wanting to forget.'

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Chapter 3: The Party

Rei shifted around uncomfortably, attempting to land his body in a more comfortable position. The wooden seat was stiff and rigid, not at all adapted for someone to sleep on. Unfortunately, he had no where else to go, for turning back was not an option.

"Damn it," he cursed under his breath, eyes squeezing shut momentarily.

He was beginning to feel the stirrings of dull pain pressing heavily against his chest – the result of missing Kai – something that he was adamantly denying. After all, only idiots would miss someone who lacked facial expression.

Rei felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over the brim and trail down his cheeks. He reached out a hand hastily to wipe away the accusing droplets of water. He was not going to cry over that sad excuse for a team captain, a friend.

However, given the circumstances, Rei was sure he could safely say that Kai was no longer a friend, or anything else that he may have hoped. He certainly did not like Kai in that way.

How could he? Kai was such an unfeeling bastard, someone people would label as being 'virtually carved out of ice'. A long time ago, if anyone had said that about Kai, he would have stuck up for him, taken on a fight if need be. Not now. Not anymore.

Rei dipped his head down, pressing it against his neck as his arms came up to wrap themselves about his torso.

Firm words as they might have been, the bold declaration went against the burning pang running through his body, went against all the signs he was showing that he still felt for his captain. It did not justify his constant thoughts, thoughts that revolved resolutely around Kai, lodging his mental image quite firmly in his mind's eye.

Rei tilted his body to the side, groaning softly as the wooden seat dug into flesh. The image stuck, and got clearer.

That guy was plaguing his thoughts, refusing to let up by keeping a tight leash on everything that Rei attempted to do.

What had be been thinking? What had he been playing at anyway? Why had he gone ahead and made a swipe at him, even with the secure knowledge that doing so would shatter their already fragile friendship into a thousand irrevocable pieces?

Rei had known all along, that he wished their friendship ran deeper than that. He just chose to ignore the blinding fact. He knew that he admired Kai right from the start, attempting to strike a comfortable friendship with him. He knew that he had grown to like Kai as more than that though, as more than just a friend.

Now though, those feelings were gone. He did not harbour any more of those nonsensical thoughts. Kai would, starting from this moment, be erased completely from his life. Kai would mean nothing more to him - not in a platonic manner, not in any other manner.

After all, he was a teenager and he had hormones. Those hormones had just been going in the wrong direction. Kai was just a crush. Nothing more. He had fallen in 'love' with Kai, and now, he had fallen out. It was as simple as that.

Honestly.

He had spent more time than considered appropriate deliberating over this matter, and now, he wanted to take a break.

Sleep was a welcomed solution, though hardly feasible, much to his annoyed frustration.

His shoulders still hurt from the cutting back strap and the only two things that prevented him from sinking into the seat and succumbing to a much longed for slumber was the knowledge that he would suffer from a backache the following morning, and the fact that his mind was stuck on the issue of Kai. It was a horrible predicament that Rei Kon had gotten himself into.

He squirmed further down the inflexible wooden seat, praying that he would not wake up stiff, aching and utterly miserable in the morning. Managing, somehow, to block out any further thoughts from his head, he fell asleep at one in the morning.

-

Kai was staring out of the window once again. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately - just staring out of the window. There would be no expression on his face, for there was no reason to laugh, or smile, or even entertain a light smirk.

Even at this hour, Kai Hiwatari found himself unable to sink into bed and sleep, for the room was too quiet.

He had found himself miss listening to the even breathing of Rei, a soft; barely discernible light inhaling and exhaling of air. He found himself thinking wistfully about the soft creaking of the springs in Rei's bed when he rolled over to achieve a more comfortable spot, or when he snuggled down further beneath his sheets, nuzzling his pillow contently, letting out a purr as he did so.

Hell, he even missed the incessant hum of Rei's hairdryer, a sound he once found highly irritating.

Operative word: 'once'.

Not any more.

Kai moved away from the window, his arms unfolding to brace his fall as he threw himself on his bed. He found it amazing how one person could affect him that much.

Why did he have to do stupid things that he could not take back? Stupid things that made him ache uncomfortably, stupid things that gave him a burning urge to whack himself, hard. He shook his head slowly, amazed at how he managed to reach new planes of stupidity where Rei was concerned time and again.

What had possessed him to do that?

He tossed and turned on his bed, another flashback slipping unbidden into his befuddled mind. This was another memory that he was sure had assisted in making Rei blow up, throwing the situation vastly into perspective. This was another heart wrenching memory that he desperately wished for the chance to change, to be given a second attempt at to alter history's events.

This was another reason that had lead to the finale of Rei's departure.

He released a quick breath that came out as a hiss, his eyes sliding shut before opening tiredly again.

If only he could turn the hands of the clock back and do it all again, noting all the previous mistakes and avoiding them. Maybe then he could change it for the better. Maybe then he could make it work.

But what happened had happened, and nothing he could do would change that. Nothing ever will.

What hurt him the most, at this point, was that he never had gotten the chance to apologise.

* * *

_Kai studied his watch impatiently. It was 15 minutes to seven, and the party began promptly at 7p.m._

_"Tyson! Hurry up and haul your ass out here!" he yelled, using his balled up fist to pound rapidly against the wooden door._

_"Coming! I'm coming!" Tyson hollered back while struggling to pull on a pair of jeans he had found lying at the foot of his bed._

_Kai grunted in frustration. Will he never change? Tyson had a terrible knack for always doing things at the last possible moment._

_He swung around to head back to the hall, and came face to face with Rei. They were but centimetres apart, and Rei's amber orbs were filled with alarmed panic, shock and something that, oddly enough, resembled apprehension._

_It had been so long since he had seen Rei face to face like that. True, they lived in the same house, but Rei was very highly skilled at dodging him. But now, now, Rei was practically nose to nose with him, staring him straight in the face. Kai acted instinctively._

_"Rei, I -" Kai began, reaching out to grab Rei's hand, intent on making him listen to what he had to say._

_Rei's eyes hardened, disgust taking over. With a feral growl, Rei slapped Kai's hand away before it touched him. The force of the slap was hard enough to stop Kai from another attempt, enough to let Kai know his confrontation was not wanted._

_He brushed past Kai, and within three seconds, was out of sight, the last strand of his ponytail disappearing round the corner. Kai bit down on his bottom lip and closed his eyes tightly._

_"Kai?"_

_His eyes snapped open. It was Tyson, and he was searching Kai's face anxiously._

_"Are you -"_

_"I'm fine. Let's go."_

_Kai followed the path that Rei had taken, leaving behind a worried Tyson._

_Tyson sighed softly, a sound only audible to himself._

_When would Rei forgive Kai? When would they accept each other and become good friends again? When would they become more than just good friends?_

_He made his way leisurely to the living room where everyone was waiting for him, pondering over a problem that seemed almost impossible to solve. Not when two extremely stubborn, strong headed people were involved._

_Kai stepped into the living room, stealing a glance at Rei. At that same moment, Rei glanced up from his conversation with Max, a smile on his lips. His eyes met Kai's. The smile disappeared._

_Fiery crimson eyes stared back at him. The mere intensity of that look made him keep on staring. He couldn't break away, not even if he tried._

_It was not to say he was not trying._

_Kai's feet came to an abrupt halt. They were trapping each other with their gaze without meaning to. But that did not necessarily mean they did not want to._

_The sound of the hired bus coming to a stop outside their motel made them break their gaze, shaking them out of their respective reveries._

_There was an awkward silence during which no one looked at each other and Chief paused his typing, afraid to break the tense moment._

_"Get moving," Kai ordered, stalking out of the front door himself._

_Tyson, Max and Chief heaved a sigh of relief, but Rei just narrowed his eyes in annoyance. Who did Kai think he was, to be ordering them about like they were below him; he had some nerve._

_When they got on the bus, they noticed that all the other teams were already on board. Ignoring the exuberant yells and outright rude comments bouncing off the walls of the bus, Rei glanced past the energetically waving hands and spotted Kai, head bowed, arms folded – at the very back._

_So now their captain was too good for them? Did he not deem them worthy enough for him to deign to mingle with them? It was not a problem though. He had no qualms with sitting with his old team._

_Mariah waved him over excitedly and patted the seat beside her that she had saved specially for him. He gave a small grin and walked over._

_Kai glanced up from where he was seated at the back, only to growl under his breath._

_He had sensed Rei glancing over at him, and for one breath-taking moment, had imagined that Rei was going to walk over to him and sit down. They could talk like the old days; patch their broken relationship bit by bit; become friends once more. And then, maybe Kai would be able to gather up the courage to turn that friendship in something more, if not just stronger._

_Could Rei not see that Mariah was devious? That Mariah was a cheating, lying no good piece of scum? She was not worth Rei's time. Why couldn't Rei see that? Mariah was practically all over Rei, flirting openly with him._

_Kai felt his hands clench into tight fists. He gritted his teeth, heels digging into the plush carpet of the bus deck. Mariah was so close, a few more millimetres and her lips would be touching his. His teeth grated against one another._

_Rei laughed, amber eyes lighting up vividly, sparkling. Of all the times Rei had to be ignorant, it had to be now, when he was in the clutches of Mariah, did it not? Kai knew that muttering under his breath did nothing to help his case, and that the longer he stared at them would only serve to infuriate him even more. But no matter how many times he told himself that, even if he saw the truth in what he said, he could not stop himself._

_Finally deciding that he could not take anymore of this, he stood up, intent on walking over to them and showing Mariah a thing or two. She should know better than to mess with him._

_Unfortunately for him, the bus had reached its destination and as it rolled to a stop, everyone started picking up their bags and alighting. Kai sat down abruptly, surprised by the turn of events. But at least now Mariah was not going to do anything to Rei. He turned around to find Rei and Mariah going down the steps of the bus, Mariah clinging on tightly to Rei's arms. Both of them were laughing and smiling cheerily._

_Kai felt slightly nauseous._

_This was going to be one long party._

_Idyllic staring had never been a valued past time of his, and that was all he seemed to be doing around here. The party that Mr. Dickenson had arranged for all the prominent beyblading teams was a complete drag. It involved socialising, for one._

_He stifled a yawn as he drew further back into the shadows a little more._

_This was an utter waste of valuable time, and he had better things to do. Things like…letting his mind wander, it immediately settled on Rei._

_After that incident where he had accused Rei of being a little more than something with Mariah, and after Rei had slammed the door in his face, Rei had been feverishly avoiding him._

_For one entire week, Rei had been avoiding him. It was painfully obvious, and Kai detested it with every fibre of his body – detested the torn looks and the annoyed narrowing of eyes, detested the abrupt departures and sudden silences, the awkwardness of how Rei acted around him, detested helplessly watching as their tentatively amiable relationship debilitated into an uneasy association._

_He had always thought that he, being the loner at any function, was the best at hiding away from people. But now, Rei was beating him at his own game. Now he knew why Tyson was so frustrated whenever he declined their request to have a 'team bonding session'._

_He had even gone to the extend of switching rooms with Chief, just so that he would not be sleeping in the same room as Kai, which meant lesser time to be spent with Kai, and thus a much lesser chance of confrontation._

_The first time he had woken up to the sound of Chief's erratic typing instead of Rei's peaceful purring had left him shocked and just a tad wounded, even if he would never admit that to anyone. He had been furious, to say the least._

_During trainings, meals, free times, Kai had attempted to talk to Rei to even out all the misunderstandings brought upon by that day._

_But during trainings, Rei had always cut him off by saying that it was break time, or that Drigger needed more defence, or that he wanted Max to fight him._

_And it was virtually impossible to get him alone at meal times, as Rei cooked the meals and sat down last, and he left his seat the last too. If Kai had finished eating first, which happened more often than not, he would sit around the table and drum his fingers against the table, shooting sharp, unmistakable glances at Rei to make sure he knew he could not runn forever._

_As a result, Kai's meals became longer and longer as he sat waiting for Rei to stop pretending to be talking to Chief and leave the table so that he would be able to get Rei all alone. He knew Rei was pretending, damn it. But Rei would sweep up all the dishes once everyone had left the table and enter the kitchen, locking the door behind him immediately. And all this was down so swiftly and quickly that he was finished even before Kai could get one word out of his mouth._

_Never mess with a neko-jin's speed._

_Why was Rei avoiding him like the plague? Why was he blatantly ignoring Kai? What the hell had he done wrong, to make Rei so furious with him, to the point of avoiding any conversation whatsoever?_

_He leant further back in his seat and tilted his head backwards to get a better view of Rei. God, he was obsessed. Surprisingly, Mariah was not latching herself onto Rei's arm anymore. In fact, she was no where to be seen._

_For the first time in a long while, Kai smiled. Then, he heard voices, nearing him. Making sure that he was well concealed by the velvet curtain that he had been hiding behind ever since the start of the party, he leant closer to eavesdrop._

_The voices were distinctly Mariah's and Lee's._

_And they were discussing what seemed to be his favourite topic lately - Rei._

_"And so I told him that Rei was preparing...," he heard Mariah squealing._

_And much to his anger, he heard the shrill laughter of Mariah mingling with the sound of Lee's harsher tones._

_"What did he do then?" Lee urged her._

_"He hung up."_

_Both of them burst into strident laughter once more._

_It appeared that they were talking about the telephone conversation that he had shared with Mariah. Kai felt annoyance twist in his stomach._

_"But you didn't really...do it with Rei right?" Lee questioned in a curious after-tone._

_"Of course not," Mariah dismissed the ridiculous notion with a wave of her hand, "he's totally Kai's. Just that Kai has some major issues with acceptance. Honestly, in all my years as a matchmaker, I've never came across such a stubborn idiot who ignores the truth even when it is practically staring him in the face. Seriously...boys can be so dumb sometimes. "_

_Kai was so stunned that he nearly fell off his seat. Rei wasn't lying then. He was truly innocent._

_He felt like kicking himself. How could he have been so dumb? Mariah was right. He deserved all the insults that she threw his way, and more, truth to be told. He should have trusted Rei. He should have believed everything that Rei said._

_He growled deep in his throat. He was going to find Rei and apologise to him. How could he have been such a moronic, fat-headed asshole?_

_He got up from his seat, so driven was he by his new found enthusiasm to find Rei that he did not notice the knowing look that Lee and Mariah shared._

_So focused was he on his mission that he did not hear them speak, their topic changed._

_"Do you think he'd make it better? Rei has been pretty down lately."_

_"He'd better. I don't work my ass off to get them together only to have Kai destroy it again."_

-

_"Rei…Rei?"_

_Rei was sprawled all over the bar top, a glass half filled with alcohol clutched loosely in his right hand. He had been drinking?_

_He snatched the glass away, sliding it out of Rei's reach so fast the liquid sloshed messily over the rim, spilling onto his hand._

_Rei mumbled something incoherent and glanced up at Kai, amber eyes glazed over._

_What did he think he was doing? And what was he mumbling anyway?_

_"Drink...give me..." his speech was slurred. Clearly, he was drunk._

_Oh, right. His drink._

_"Rei, I forbid you to drink. It's not good for your health. No more. Do you understand? No more." Kai spoke deliberately slowly, as if communicating with an irascible 3 year old._

_Rei shook his head stubbornly, his lower lip beginning to tremble. He was...no way. Was he…was he about to cry?_

_"Drink." His pout was so adorable that Kai nearly gave in._

_"NO!" His voice was so forceful and loud that Rei shirked away from him, looking terrified. Kai felt himself softening immediately._

_Rei was in no condition to carry on like that._

_He stood up, slinking Rei's right arm around his neck, pressing Rei's body tightly to him with his other arm. Calling out to Tyson, Max and Kenny, he informed them that he was heading home first with Rei. Max had made a worried move forward, but Tyson had dragged him back, reassuring him that Kai was more than capable of taking care of Rei._

_Rei fell asleep half way there, his head rolling on and off Kai's shoulder._

_The bus driver was surprised to see them, but taking one glance at Rei, he nodded and drove them back to the hotel._

_Throughout the ride home, Kai sat stroking Rei' s silky black bangs out of his closed eyes, watching in mild fascination as the smooth strands slipped easily through his fingers, flopping adorably over closed eyes once more. Obstinate. Just like the owner._

_And beautiful. Ethereally so._

_People of Kai's calibre were considered hot; gorgeous. They were looked up to and gossiped about. But in his opinion, people like Rei were by far more deserving. True, they might not be considered extremely handsome, but they exuded an aura of cool confidence, and of mystical background. Their mere uniqueness set them apart from the rest, a notch higher. To Kai, Rei was unreachable._

_He clutched Rei tighter; as if afraid that he might just disappear into thin air. He pulled his hand from Rei's hair, placing his arm carefully around the slumbering teen's shoulders._

_The bus came to a stop outside the motel. Kai nodded to the bus driver before sweeping Rei of his feet, literally, with one hand around his shoulders and the other under his knees. Rei groaned and opened one eye, his arms wrapped around Kai's neck. Kai kicked the front door open and was about to switch on the light when Rei yelped and screeched to be put down._

_Kai placed him on the floor, watching Rei's eyes widen in confusion._

_"Where am I?"_

_"Motel."_

_Rei snarled. "You brought me back?"_

_It was such a drastic transformation from the drunk Rei just moments before that Kai paused for a moment before nodding. He felt the need to explain himself as Rei glared at him with daggers in his eyes._

_"You were drunk. And you wanted to drink more. It wasn't good for your health."_

_"Why do you give a damn Kai? Why do you give a fucking damn anyway?" Rei's eyes were but slits now._

_"Because-"_

_Rei cut across him._

_"Why don't you let me drown my sorrows in alcohol?"_

_He shook his head, repulsion etched clearly in his face._

_"Forget it." He spat._

_He spun around and was about to head to his room when Kai grabbed his right arm, halting him in his tracks._

_He turned around to face Kai again._

_Kai looked like a wreck. The pained hurt in his eyes; the obscure confusion that blatantly proved he had no idea what he had done wrong, nearly made Rei think twice about leaving him there without an explanation_

_"What sorrows?"_

_Rei wrenched his arm from Kai. Did Kai not know? Did he really not understand?_

_Or was he just playing with him?_

_"I hate you." Each word was hissed out, laced with pure unadulterated anger._

_Then he was gone, leaving Kai with more questions than answers._

_If Kai did not understand before, he did now. He was the 'sorrow'. He was what caused Rei pain. He was so stupid._

_He bit his lip and turned his head from the window. How would staring at the window help get Rei back anyway?_

_Stumbling into his bed, he fell into a restless sleep._

* * *

At 1:43 a.m., Rei found himself awake once more.

Why couldn't he just fall asleep?

He rose from his make shift bed, arching his back as he did so. The sore muscles stretched with a satisfying crack.

Rei walked to the edge of the bus stop, a cool breeze hitting him. It whipped his braid back and played with his bangs, teasing and tossing the raven fringe as it filtered through them. Rei smiled softly to himself. He hadn't felt this contended in a long while.

He glanced up at the night sky and was delighted to see it dotted with twinkling stars. Stargazing. He'd always loved stargazing. It was so peaceful; so soothing.

Ever since his childhood days, one of the first things he remembered about the olden times was his love for stars. How his parents would tell him everything they knew about each and every constellation. And they knew an impressionable amount.

In fact, no one he met knew as much as them, or him, about stargazing. That is, until he met Kai.

Kai. The name resounded in his head.

He was having a good time stargazing. Why bother bringing Kai into it? Why bother creating new problems, when he thought that he had left all behind by leaving? Why bother making himself disheartened?

He steered his thoughts in a different direction. It was too close to home. Too close to memories. Too close to pain.

Stargazing. Right.

But somehow, something felt wrong this time round. Something felt amiss; like when you placed a book in the wrong shelf, and you knew it, but were too bothered to rectify the mistake.

Could it be Kai's absence? It could not, right? After all, he had spent all day trying to avoid even thinking about him.

But even that was not enough to eradicate his traitorous line of thought. He still remembered the time when he found out that Kai enjoyed stargazing as much as him, if not more.

* * *

_Rei was sitting all alone, enjoying the view of stars vastly spread out in the vacuum above him. They were so pretty, like the little diamond studs that women liked so much - bright and beautiful. A smile graced his lips as his mother's voice echoed through his head, the anecdotes behind each constellation weaving itself in his memory. He missed the pleasant lilting tune that her words flowed with._

_"Who knew little Rei-Rei liked stars." The tone was teasing but pleasant._

_Kai?_

_He whipped around. Sure enough, Kai was standing there, back straight, white scarf billowing behind him - the epitome of greatness, in Rei's very much biased opinion._

_"What are you doing back here then?" Rei taunted back._

_Kai faltered._

_Rei let out a laugh. It was fun to play with Kai. Well, when he wasn't in Mr. Ice mode, that is._

_Kai sat down beside him, hands clasped around his knees. There was a comfortable, amiable silence. Rei smiled softly to himself. He wanted this moment to last forever and ever._

_"That's Leo. The sign of the lion. Great people come from that sign. Like me." Kai said, breaking the silence._

_Rei let out a surprised laugh. Who knew Kai had a sense of humour?_

_"That's the Big Dipper. It's a group of bright stars in the sky. Its looks like the cup and handle of a water dipper, hence the name. It includes a mizar which is a double star, situated at bend of the Big Dipper's handle. And see that two stars in front of the Big Dipper? They're pointing to the North star." Rei countered._

_Kai frowned. Astrology...astrology... What had they been taught at the abbey at astrology? He was not about to let Rei outwit him._

_His face brightened into a smirk when all of it came rushing back to him._

_"The sun is the nearest star to earth. It is 93 million miles, which is also 150 million kilometres, away."_

_Kai glanced at Rei triumphantly._

_Rei pouted._

_"The ancient Egyptians believed that the sun hatched each day from the egg of a heavenly chicken!" Rei finished with a smirk._

_Kai frowned._

_"You made that up."_

_"Did not."_

_"Did too."_

_"Did not."_

_"Did too."_

_"Did not!"_

_"Did too."_

_"DID NOT!"_

_There was a pause._

_And then -_

_"It was a heavenly goose, not a chicken!"_

_Both of them glanced at each other, before bursting into surprised laughter simultaneously._

* * *

Rei smiled to himself, before walking back to his seat and falling asleep again, this time peacefully.

Everything would work out fine in the end.

Everything would be alright.

* * *

-

End Chapter Three


	4. Realisation Sets In

Standard disclaimer applies –

* * *

'_The memories play back and forth; ceaselessly, like a broken record going on and on. I can't turn them off. Words are tossed carelessly, voices resonate, actions are replayed over and over again, till I have them down to perfection. _

'_They are tearing me apart once more. Every single time it happens, it is like a knife through an already present wound. They draw me in, leaving me hapless to do naught but be reeled into the experience once more. _

'_They are consuming me; they are eating me alive.'

* * *

_

Chapter 4: Realisation Sets In

Kai awoke to the feel of bed sheets being pulled off him. This only serve to bring to mind the memory of Rei bounding into his room on the rare occasion that he did not manage to get up before the rest of the team and ripping the warm sheets off him. He felt the faint blossoming of hope rise in his chest. Did that mean that Rei was home?

"Rei?" he murmured hopefully. He shot up and glanced wildly about.

Only to find Tyson glaring at him.

He leaned back into his bed, feeling the previous little bit of excitement and happiness drain out of him. He felt so tired.

He groaned and turned over, muttering a soft, "Leave me alone." What the hell was Tyson thinking, being in his room? He thought that he had successfully delivered the message that he was, under absolutely no circumstances, to be disturbed.

"And get out of my room." He added as an afterthought.

This earned him a scowl from Tyson which, naturally, he did not see. Why was Kai so lethargic? So un-Kaish? He did not even get yelled at for entering Kai's room or, as Kai would put it, trespassing into his personal space.

"What the hell is wrong with you Kai? Snap out of it!"

Kai groaned and pulled the neglected blankets further up, effectively separating himself from Tyson and his surroundings.

"Moping around isn't going to get Rei back." Tyson added in a much softer tone. It was gentle, sympathetic.

Kai sat up slowly, his crimson eyes staring straight at Tyson's, alight with raw anger; desperation, his hands clenching the blankets tightly. Tyson gulped and involuntarily took a step back.

"Don't you dare…don't you ever dare to drag Rei into the picture." His voice was deep and the words were grounded out through clenched teeth.

"Face it Kai. I've enough of your attitude. I find it sickening. Go do some training, go get Rei back! Just don't sit here doing...doing absolutely nothing!" Tyson paused to take a deep breath.

Kai had thrown the covers back over his head and was immobile.

"You're wasting away Kai. What happened to the guy I knew? What happened to the guy who would not stand to be yelled at?"

There was no reply.

Tyson carried on, relentless.

In a tone so soft that only Kai and he could catch, he said, "What happened to the Kai that I knew, and admired?"

Kai did not move.

Tyson stopped, unsure as to how to react to this severe change in his team captain.

Seeing no other alternative, he turned and left the room. As soon as he heard the soft click of the door lock, Kai peeked out from under the covers. Was Tyson, for once, right?

As if on cue, the phone on his bedside table rang. Kai groaned silently to himself and pulled himself out of bed.

"Yes?" he grunted into the mouthpiece.

"Hey sleepy head." Tala greeted cheerily from the other line. Eerily cheerily.

"What do you want?" Kai snapped, getting straight to the point. He was never known for patience in the first place.

"Well, well. Aren't we all Mr. Congeniality today? I heard from Tyson. So, you want to talk about it?"

"Nice façade Ivanov. Like you give a damn. You just want to gloat about it and rub it in my face you miserable prick."

In a soft voice, Tala countered with a question, "What's there to gloat about?"

There was no reply from Kai.

"So are you coming?"

The answer was immediate; there was no hesitation.

"No."

"No, no. You seem to misunderstand. Maybe I should rephrase. How shall I say this – Mr. Hiwatari, get your lazy ass to my place immediately."

"Why did you ask in the first place then?" Kai's tone was irritated, but he felt the beginnings of a small smile tugging at his lips.

"To give you the impression that you had authority over the matter." Tala replied in an off-handed tone.

Kai could almost imagine him waving his hands airily around him. Tala could almost imagine Kai rolling his eyes at the reply.

"My place. I trust you know where that is. Be there as soon as possible. Oh and Kai? For the precious safety of my sanity and olfactory membrane, take a bath."

Then the line was cut off.

Kai looked at the phone in his hands and smirked. Maybe Tala and Tyson were right. Maybe it was about time he snapped out of it. After all, he thought bitterly, 'Moping around would not bring Rei back.'

Twenty minutes later, Kai was standing outside Tala's place. He lifted a finger to ring the doorbell.

There was the distinct sound of scampering feet before the front door creaked open to reveal a pair of suspicious eyes staring at him. Almost immediately, the eyes widened and the door was flung open.

"Kai!" Ian greeted. "We're waiting for you. Come on in." It was apparent that Ivan was pleased by Kai's visit.

Kai gave a curt nod to Ian and shut the door behind him. He followed Ian into the kitchen where the Demolition Boys was present.

Spencer looked at him with a sad half smile on his face, as if he felt sorry for Kai and the state that he was in. Bryan was scowling and Tala was smirking. Kai eyed them cautiously, a forbidding sense of trepidation steadily building up in his chest.

"You wanted to talk Ivanov?"

Tala's smirk grew wider.

"Ahh, yes. I heard that you and your boyfriend had a little tiff recently and now said boyfriend's missing."

Kai growled at the back of his throat.

"Rei's not my boyfriend."

Tala's sharp blue eyes glinted evilly before hardening.

"He would be if you wised up Hiwatari." Kai cocked an eyebrow.

"Wised up?"

Tala's features relaxed visibly and he leaned back into his chair slowly.

At the same time, Bryan leaned forward, he face a rough 15 centimetres from Kai's.

"I could have killed him easily at the World Championships. I paid dearly for not doing so."

He straightened up, but his piercing gaze never left Kai's.

In a rare act of displaying his emotions, Kai furrowed his brows, looking confused. Then, seconds later, his eyes widened slightly in realisation. The change did not go unnoticed by those present.

Changing the topic abruptly, before the atmosphere in the kitchen got too awkward, Tala left Kai to ponder what he was to do.

During the entire conversation, Kai was withdrawn from the rest, instead opting to contemplate about everything and get his feelings and thoughts sorted out. After half an hour, he stood up abruptly. At once, everyone's attention was on him.

Meeting their questioning gazes with his usual stoic expression back in place, he announced, "I'm going home."

They nodded, understanding.

However, just before Kai turned, Bryan stood up and caught his elbow in a firm grip.

"Hurt him, and I'll hurt you." The look in his eyes was all the explanation that Kai needed.

On the way home, Kai mused about the mess that he had started. He let out a bitter laugh that sounded hollow. It seemed that Bryan and he had similar tastes. Who knew that Bryan had a thing for Rei? Who would have guessed?

His focus shifted and his mind, invariably, settled on a particular memory. It was the one fateful incident that ended everything. The one incident that started everything.

The one incident that he just could not forget.

It was as if an eagle had sunk its talons deep into his flesh and simply refused to let go. The more he tried to get rid of it, the more blood and flesh he took out - the more pain he felt. The more he tried to forget it was there, the more it stood out in his memory, scarily vivid. And when he did face up to it and try to fight it, the more he lost.

What hurt the most, he felt, was the crushing feeling of knowing that you would never have the chance to go back into time and do it all again. It was the devastating sensation of knowing that the occurrence was irreversible.

You only got one chance.

And there were simply too many things that could spoil it. The worse thing was, you do not even realise the lost chance, the action that made you lose it, until it was all over.

A 'yes', a 'no', a smile, a frown, a laugh.

A tiny action that seemed so small, so innocuous then, something that, originally, you would not even think about. That. Changed into something colossal, something that caused everything to blow up in your face.

Some diminutive action, that, only when you thought back, when you searched the past, that moment, when you asked yourself what went wrong, would you get the answer.

It started out as something small. Something you would not have seen if you had not been searching specifically for it. And when you notice it, you promise that you will clean it up one of these days. But time drags on, and you cannot find the time or the effort to be bothered. Eventually, it starts to sink in, larger than ever, and you can do nothing to get rid of it then.

It was like the surprise of an unsuspecting mistake, hitting you hard, when you least expect it. By then, the mistake is so clear that you wonder how come you did not realise it before.

Why you didn't spot it before, when it was still a small problem that could be taken care of quickly without making a huge mess?

One chance with Rei, and he had blown it.

The memory of that incident was always on his mind; hiding in the depths of his sub-consciousness, just waiting for the ideal moment to grab his waning attention.

The chilling part was that he could remember it with such lucidity. It almost seemed like he was seeing it from a focused lens, every small detail in place, everything so carefully planned that he could just see it with such crystal clarity. It was scary.

He knew the sequence of events better than the back of his hand. How many times had he replayed it over and over again? How many times had he felt such utter confusion and guilt?

Kai felt a familiar pang of guilt, frustration and a deep hatred for himself. The many different emotions coalesced, so much so that he could no longer tell one emotion from the next.

How could he have been so dense? It was his entire fault.

Unconsciously, he bit down on his lower lip hard and his hands curled into tight balls. His nails were digging into the flesh of his palm, leaving distinct crescent-mooned markings.

All his fault.

The start of it all.

His fault.

He redoubled the pressure on his lower lip, sinking his teeth into soft, pliant flesh.

The stubbornness displayed.

His hands started trembling noticeably. He gritted them even tighter.

The unwillingness to give in to one another.

The rhythm of his footsteps increased in momentum and the thudding sound of shoe on the asphalt ground augmented in volume.

The sharp ascend of voices as tempers frayed.

His gait was stiff, long legs striding quickly, weaving his way swiftly through the human crowd on the streets of Tokyo. The way he shifted position, twisting to the left and right, had an almost violent attribute to it. People who saw him kept out of his way.

The yelling.

His vision was blurring over. He had no idea where he was going. All he knew was that he needed to keep moving. He needed to find an outlet for these emotions. But it was getting harder and harder to see. A fog clouded his mind and his vision was impaired by a red haze.

Kai took in a deep breath to try and calm his nerves.

The words were embedded in his mind

The hurt in Rei's eyes, as he had glared so furiously.

The shock - the utterly flabbergasted expression on Rei's face.

His fault. Entirely his fault.

He choked as he felt his windpipe clog over. He was so sorry.

It was all his fault, and he would do anything to change what actually happened.

Anything.

"Rei, please come back," he whispered.

Whirling around violently on his heels, he slammed his clenched right fist into a nearby lamppost with as much strength as he could muster. There was a sickening crunch as bone met metal.

The rim of people who pointed at him and whispered under their breaths receded into the background.

He gasped as pain coursed through his hands. It felt like liquid fire, spreading swiftly and alighting his nerves. It was burning his hand. Paralysing.

He staggered around blindly, before spotting a bench and slumping down on it. He was completely and utterly defeated. The memories were over ridding him and he had no control.

And even now, they were coming back and haunting him.

He had no more power, no more resistance. All he waned to do was go to sleep. Fall into an eternal sleep and slip into blissful unconsciousness, where there was no pain, no more remembering.

No more feelings.

He no longer had any need for resisting. He was surrendering to the memories. And in an inundating current, the excruciating events came rushing back to him oh so clearly.

The reason why Rei left.

He spread his legs wide, leaning so that he was crouched over his abdomen. His arms were resting on his tights, head in both hands.

Covering, hiding, trying to protect himself from the onslaught of emotions. The embodiment of defeat.

Kai Hiwatari was remembering.

Remembering... a dark raven-haired teenager...

Remembering a Chinese boy with ambitions and a determined optimistic grin on his beautiful face. Remembering the traditional ethnic clothing that he always wore, and the ying-yang symbol on his head band. Remembering the tinkling light-hearted melodic sound of his laughter…

He was remembering Rei.

* * *

_Kai was sitting in his favourite armchair, in his customary fashion, head slightly bowed, arms crossed and folded protectively over his chest. Why was Rei still ignoring him?_

_It was after their practice and Tyson and Max were watching television. Kenny was sitting in a corner of the room, typing._

_Rei entered the room, amber eyes alight, his mouth drawn into a firm line. Long braid swinging wildly behind with his swift actions, he headed straight for Kai._

_Kai knew that Rei was going for him. What for, he had no idea. For one tingling heart-stopping moment, he thought that Rei was going to clear up this whole entire mess. But when Rei paused in front of him and he lifted his head to stare Rei in the eyes, any inkling of that previous hope was dashed out._

_Rei looked stubborn and hard pressed, as if it pained him to even be in Kai's presence. That was probably how he felt._

"_The White Tigers invited me back to the village for a short one week visit." The tone was defiant, bold, as if daring Kai to refute him._

_Since they were training and Kai was the team captain, all permissions to leave for a holiday or otherwise had to be granted by him._

_It could have been the remembrance of Mariah and Lee, or it could have been the fact that Rei was posing the question as if he was stipulating for a fight, challenging Kai._

_Or perhaps it was the fact that Rei had been ignoring him for such a long time, and the first thing that he chose to speak to Kai was not for reconciliation. It could even have been because he could not bear the hurting verity that Rei preferred to spend time in the company of the White Tigers rather than him._

_It could have been any of those things._

_What he did know was that it compelled him to turn Rei down._

"_No."_

_Rei glared, hatred burning in his irises. He was clearly furious, but he did not seem shock, as if he had expected that particular answer._

_Did he? Did he expect Kai to refuse him? It was burning Kai up._

"_Why not?" he demanded, a taunt present in his tone. When Kai simply lowered his head again and did not provide an explanation, Rei raised his voice._

"_Don't have a valid answer do you? I'm going then."_

_He turned around to leave, but Kai's voice stopped him._

"_I said no."_

_Rei whipped around and narrowed his eyes at Kai._

_Some point during their heated conversation, the television had been switched off and the rhythmic click of nails on keyboard had paused._

"_Why not?" Rei challenged softly, but one could hear the underlying trembling._

_It was no longer a question of gaining permission to visit one's hometown with friends any longer. It was no longer a matter of that genre._

_It had stopped being that a long time ago._

_It was the accumulation of wounds upon wounds of hurt and troubles; bottled up feelings that threatened to overspill now. It was the insults that they tossed to one another so carelessly, the brash accusations and the deadly looks they shot._

_It was the hurt that had nurtured, growing silently without them realising it under all the misunderstandings and unwillingness to give in and forgive. The inability to let go. The stubbornness and refusal._

_They had developed the hurt._

_And now it was coming back, redoubled, twice as strong._

"_No means no."_

_Rei shook his head slowly, as if he could not believe how immaturely Kai was acting. _

"_Why not?" Rei's voice went up a hitch in volume. It was as close as you could get to shouting while still talking._

"_Don't question me." Kai raised his head, a burning intensity in his burgundy orbs. Anger was rising up inside Kai. Twisting and turning viciously like a snake as it tried to take over. The way Rei had been avoiding him; the repudiated offers for help; the lack of positive reception for his effort to try and patch things up._

_Did they not make him angry?_

_God, yes... Yes, they did._

_His anger was feeding off the umbrage it gave off hungrily. Acrimony at himself, at Rei, at the entire bloody world. His blood was heating up; his mind was losing all sense and aptitude to think straight._

"_You're being unreasonable Kai!" It could safely be classified under yelling._

_There was a deathly silence._

_When was the last time Rei had raised his voice at Kai? Not too long ago. It was only once, though there were other cases that came close._

_It was one time too many._

_Kai was struggling to keep his temper in check. But it was burning him up on the inside, setting his nerves blazing._

"_My command is law." He grounded out through tightly clenched teeth._

"_You think you're so great Kai Hiwatari! Well, you're not!"_

_Kai gripped the sides of his armchair so tightly that his knuckles turned white, sinking his nails into the soft cushion._

_But Rei was on a toll and he was not stopping. He did not notice Kai's pained expression._

"_- always bulling us around! What right do you have?"_

_Getting no reply only served to infuriate Rei even more. His voice increased till he was practically yelling at the top of his voice._

"_Do you even care? Are you even listening? What right do you have to control my life? Answer me Kai!"_

_Kai was out of his seat in one swift moment and, throwing all his strength into the fluid movement, slapped Rei so hard that he was thrown across the floor, knocking against the wall._

_Instant silence._

_Rei placed one hand on his stinging cheek gently, almost as if in awe. He had not expected that. He turned to face Kai again._

_Kai was glancing at his reddened palm, his eyes were wide with dazed shock._

"_Rei." he whispered._

_Rei leaped up without a word and dashed to the door, flinging it open and running out into the night. Kai was at the door in an instant._

"_Rei! I didn't mean to!"_

_By then, Rei was out and he was running and he pretended that he had not heard._

* * *

A stray beam of pale dawning sunlight fell upon the sleeping Chinese boy, highlighting the ends of his bounded hair, bleaching it a reddish brown.

The little warmth it provided made the teenager shift in his semi-awake condition. Yawning widely enough to show off his sharp canines, Rei stretched and rubbed the sleep-induced haze from his eyes.

It was morning. There was approximately one more hour before the bus arrived. And then there was no turning back. He was really leaving Japan. Leaving the Bladebreakers, Tyson, Max, Kenny and...Kai.

He felt a sharp pang of nostalgia hit him.

He was leaving. And there was no one to say good bye, to wish him a safe trip home.

After the quarrel with Kai, he had crept back in the middle of the night and broke into the house to grab his stuff. He only took the basic necessities as he shared a room with Kai and he did not want to risk waking Kai up.

Not after what happened.

He could not get back to sleep. Getting up, he started strolling around the bus station. Might as well find something to occupy his thoughts before the bus arrived to take him to the airport.

He was not going to turn back.

Kai stumbled into the apartment, drained, paler than usual, and completely dead. Using his left hand, he let himself into his room.

He wrapped his right hand up in a white bandage tightly so that it had no chance to worsen. Sitting on his bed, he stared at his throbbing hand, his mind a total blank.

Glancing around absentmindedly, his eyes finally chose to settle on Rei's now vacant bed. The sheets were neatly folded, the pillow in the exact centre of the bed. It was spotless; impeccably kept, really.

As if in a trance, Kai got up slowly from his bed and took a step to the bed opposite his. Step, after step, after step.

When he was directly in front of Rei's bed, he could just discern the faint but omnipresent aroma of Rei on the bed sheets. The herbal smell of his shampoo mingled with his own intoxicating scent was distinctly Rei's.

He sat down slowly on the bed, his hand resting lightly on the bed, revelling in the cool, soft touch. But as he settled down, he heard the crinkling of paper. He got up immediately, his left hand feeling desperately under the sheets.

Maybe it was all a terrible joke and Rei was telling him that he was forgiven and that it wasn't meant to be real.

Maybe it was all staged, perhaps by Tyson, just to piss him off, or to get back at him for the extra training he had made them all do.

Kai could feel his heart palpitating against his ribcage with every beat. It increased in alacrity as his hand came upon the unmistakable texture and firmness of paper.

He clasped it and pulled it out.

The envelope was brown, and it felt slightly grainy. But it was paper nonetheless.

It was the rough size of a postcard. Kai's hands shook faintly as he read the words on the front.

Written on the front in neat slanting handwriting that curled the letters slightly at the end, making it look somewhat like cursive and somewhat like scribbling, were the words:

'To Kai'

There was no more.

He flipped the envelope around, hand trailing lightly around the edges of the pasted down flap.

Placing a nail under a small opening at one end, he moved his finger along, slowly prying open the envelope.

* * *

-

End Chapter Four


	5. Desperation

Standard disclaimer applies-

* * *

"_If I could, I would turn time back to do it all over again, grovelling, begging, utterly repentant and sincere. I would let you have your way. Go China, go home, go freaking America if it means you would have forgiven me instead of leaving me the mess I am today._

"_If I could, I would take back what I said and did - harsh words, defensive gestures, hurtful actions and all. I would have taken you into my arms and kissed you senseless before this whole chaos took place, setting aside my stupid pride and actually thinking before I made another stupid mistake that only made you further than ever. _

"_If I could, I would walk backwards step by step, going back over every wrong move that I made. I would step out to take the blame willingly, for I know it is my fault, and I know that it is my responsibility to correct it._

"_If I could, I would._

"_But I can't. I can't, I can't, and so I'll settle for regretting."

* * *

_

Chapter 5: Desperation

The intercom came on and a pleasant voice drifted over the human body of people moving about in a mass of confusion.

"Attention. The first bus heading for Tokyo airport is arriving in 5 minutes. All passengers due for that bus please gather your belongings and head over to the ticket counter. Thank you for your cooperation."

Rei heaved a sigh, heading back to his seat. All he had was a black bag, containing the bare essentials he needed before he reached China. His hometown. Where he belonged.

Looking at the almost pathetic assemblage he had, he gave into the urge to draw a deep breath.

It was almost as if he had never joined the Bladebreakers, never went through all those matches with them, never gone through all those killer-training sessions, never spent the best part of his past years with them.

Never met Tyson. Max. Kenny. Kai.

Never fallen in love.

It was as if everything that had happened, had not.

Those great times he had shared with people he had grown so close to. So close, all of them so endeared to one another that they could be considered family.

And even now, when he was on the point of no turning back, he still could not help but wonder if they would miss him. Would his presence, or lack thereof, be missed dearly?

He missed them.

Damn it. Why now?

Why did it have to be now of all times for him to be hit with a fresh wave of sharp nostalgia?

For a second, it made him hesitate.

Was what he was doing correct? How would he be affecting his life...how would he be changing things?

Because, surely, they would act differently around him and treat him differently too. They might even bear some resentment for his sudden departure. It was not everyday that one of your team mates went missing with some of his belongings, without so much as a goodbye.

And it was even rarer that, after this had been done, you could come away walking, talking and acting like nothing has changed in the slightest and everything was fine and dandy. And definitely, without fail, there would be a certain amount of uneasiness in the atmosphere that would make it worse than meeting strangers.

He brushed that thought quickly from his mind. Hesitation was dangerous. It was a feeling, a sense of insecurity that he could not afford. At least not at this point of time.

With that firm resolution in mind, he slung his bag over his shoulder. Biting his bottom lip lightly, he made his way through the overcrowded terminal to the ticket counter.

His footsteps slowing to a halt behind a guy in a black cloak, he got in line, releasing his grip on his lip and licking it gently.

Well, here he was.

Kai used his left thumb to lift the flap up slowly, cautiously.

His hand was trembling.

Tentatively, he inched a folded up piece of paper out of the envelope, taking care not to crease it. The side he was holding up had no writing on it. But faintly, barely, he could discern the protruding imprint of the words from the other side of it.

His heart began palpitating much faster. God, he had never felt such nervousness in his entire life. How was it that a letter, that would quite plausibly crush his morale, written by someone he was trying very hard to forget and hold back from, could hold so much more calculated anxiety and create an intensified sense of nervousness inside of him, as compared to say, his grandfather?

He unfolded it once.

Twice.

Thrice.

And flipped it open.

The words were written in black ink, contrasting and standing out distinctly from the whiteness of the A4 paper.

The manuscript was just like the one on the envelope.

Unmistakably Rei's handwriting.

His left hand ghosted over the page gently, revelling in the acute impression left by the words.

His vision was unfocused, gaze not concentrating on the actual words, so much so that the words seem to blur and merge together, forming a messy mass of black.

He didn't want to read it. He didn't want to find out what Rei had been thinking. He didn't want to know what Rei wanted to tell him. There was too much pain, too much hurt between them. Too much to take a simple letter to make it all right again.

He didn't want to read it.

And yet, the curiosity was rising rapidly, as was the faint notion that getting him back was not completely out of point.

So decided, he focused upon the words that were staring back at him.

The bus came to a grinding halt in front of the waiting line of people. Rei glanced up at it.

The exhaust gave one last tired rumble and emitted a puff of grey looking cloud of smoke before falling silent.

The automatic doors in the front folded in and slid to one side. Five men in blue jumped down the steps, arranging themselves quickly into an orderly line.

The nearest one to the bus unlatched the side of the bus and flipped open to reveal a large compartment. The one furthest from the bus and closest to the people picked up the luggage in front of him as if it were effortless, before passing it swiftly to the next person.

Rei watched the assembly line in mute fascination. The five men worked with such enthralling efficiency. Or maybe he was just extremely bored.

As if in a trance, he moved forward a step when the person in front of him did.

Luggage was taken, and more people moved to get into the bus.

Rei was one step closer every few seconds.

The words seemed to leap up at him.

What was he supposed to do now?

Memories from the past few days, weeks, months, years, came rushing back to him. It was overwhelming.

Rei laughing after having hit him up the head with a snowball. Rei's closed eyes and contended smile on his visage as he sipped his hot cocoa. Rei grinning as he fooled around with Tyson and Max. Purring as he stretched when he woke up, or as he relaxed from a tough day of training, or when Kai was massaging him

Rei battling Bryan, braid askew, a look of fierce determination on his countenance. Rei lying on the white sheets of the hospital bed – tired, fatigued, but beaming proudly up at him. Rei pouting. Cooking dinner. Laughing. Smiling. Frowning. Hissing.

But those words that had sprouted from Rei's mouth - he had used them like a weapon, throwing and lashing out. And it hurt like one would too.

"_I hate you."_

There had been so much venom in his voice.

_Just before Kai turned, Bryan stood up and caught his elbow in a firm grip._

"_Hurt him, I'll hurt you." The look in his eyes was all the explanation that Kai needed._

Rei hated him. Right?

Thoughts and memories of Rei revolved around his head like a blizzard.

Faster and faster. One thought chasing after the next. Confusing, so confusing.

But through all the uncertainty, through all the memories and images going around, his name stood out with crystal clarity.

Shit yeah. He needed to do something.

Grabbing his car keys and coat, he took long quick strides out of the door. Behind him, forgotten, a piece of slightly crumpled paper fluttered slowly to the ground, twisting and turning slightly in mid air before coming to rest peacefully just on top of an envelope.

**- + -**

The low rumble of the engine, the yells of the workers, mothers calling out for playful children who had strayed a little too far for safety, the indignant wailing of babies and the general murmur of the crowd mingled together – so much so that Rei could not differentiate one sound from the next, and the whole scene seem to fade into the background altogether.

His thoughts became the main focus of his attention. Last minute regret? Definitely not.

He had come so far that he was certain there was no way that he was turning back.

There was no one waiting for him to do so, anyway.

- + -

Kai strode out of the door, the sound of his rapid footsteps hitting the mahogany underfoot, catching Tyson's attention. Max and Kenny were no where to be found.

"Hey Kai."

There was no response.

"Kai! Wait up man. What's the -"

Tyson's tirade was cut off abruptly by the rude slamming of the door. Pulling a face at the unyielding piece of wood, he headed to Kai's room. Peeking in, he spotted a white piece of paper nestled contently in the middle of the floor. Inquisitiveness piped, he moved forward and picked it up. And felt his breath catching half way up his throat.

It was a letter from Rei to Kai, and it was so weird it seemed surreal.

Tyson's eyes flicked back to the first word again, and he skimmed through the letter once more.

_Kai, _

_There's not much I want to say. But there is something...something important. I'm heading for my hometown in China. Catching the first plane there._

_You're probably reading this and wondering what the hell I'm trying to say. I've never had a way with words. Don't worry, I won't take too much of your precious time._

_The thing is, one of the greatest mistakes in my life was falling for you._

_And the greatest? After all that's happened, I'm still in love with you._

_Rei_

Tyson smoothed out the letter gently and place it on the table beside Kai's bed, all the while smiling happily to himself. Finally Kai was doing something.

He definitely was not as heartless as he made himself out to be.

Because buried deep within the icy exteriors of seemingly impenetrable barriers, there was a small part of him that lived for someone with than himself. Someone that he held extremely dear. Who he cared for more than an acquaintance.

- + -

Kai took the stairs four at a time, all the while cursing.

The whole damn world was against him today.

First, the stupid lift took so long to arrive that he decided to take the stairs instead. And then there was an old woman who literally hobbled at one step per minute, taking up the entire staircase and effectively blocking his way.

The old woman shifted a little to the left. Kai caught the miniscule action and literally leapt at the opportunity, roughing past the old woman, who managed to utter a squawk and jab his back with her walking stick. Once again claiming the stairs at four at one go, Kai flew down.

- + -

The line was moving faster the nearer he came to the front. The workers were working faster too, rushing to meet the deadline.

Luggage after luggage was passed swiftly from hand to hand, the workers soon falling into a steady rhythm well known to them.

Passenger after passenger had their luggage taken from them, before stepping forward into the bus, glancing around for a vacant seat before heading there.

Standard procedure.

Some kids were still oblivious to their parents' calls, happily playing with themselves, screeching animatedly at the top of their voices and dashing around the place.

Rei chuckled softly to himself as he observed the hyperactive children tearing around much to the distress of their frustrated parents. They reminded him so much of Max and Tyson.

And the parents?

- + -

Kai thrust his car key into the key hold while attempting to twist it violently at the same time, and ended up using such force that the key snapped. He cursed his miserable luck and flung the useless half of the key onto the ground.

What was he supposed to do now? Something close to mild panic rose in his chest, drawing it tight. Whipping around him in his desperation, he spotted a wayward piece of wire.

He grabbed the still sticking out key from the key hold and tossed it away before inserting the piece of wire into it, almost laughing to himself. He never thought he would see the day he had to break into his own car.

-

_Kai leapt up, anxiety immediately turning into anger._

"_What the hell do you think you were doing at Mariah's house? Do you even know what the time is now? Do you - "_

_He was cut off by Rei. "What is your problem Kai?"_

"_What is my problem? What did you do at Mariah's house?"_

"_We watched a video-"_

_Kai snorted in disbelief._

"_Sure. Whatever."_

_Rei shook his head disgustedly._

"_Why ask when you don't even care? When you don't even listen?"_

_He stormed to his room and slammed the door behind him, causing the white plaster walls to shake from the force of it._

_Kai stared after the door of Rei's room, stunned._

-

_Kai...there's not much I want to say._

-

Hearing the melodic click of metal on metal, Kai flung the car door open, wired his car and stepped on the gas pedal, screeching precariously on two wheels out of the car park.

- + -

It was finally Rei's turn to board the bus. Luggage was taken from him before he could say anything, and he felt his own legs move forward one step at a time.

However, he stopped at the second step up the bus. Was he hoping that someone was coming to get him? Or did he just want to take in one last sight of this foreign country that had been his home for the past few years before he headed back to China?

It may have been either one, for Rei did not know himself.

But what he did know was that, try as he might, he could not help scan the crowd anxiously, searching for a navy blue cap, an eye-catching yellow shirt, or a loose tie, who's owner had hair in his eyes, or a white scarf hanging out almost regally behind a confident figure.

"Hey boy...move it will ya...We ain't got all day." A harsh voice cut into his thoughts. The queue was glaring at him and some were tapping their feet impatiently, and he looked around once more, feeling a deep sinking in the pits of his stomach. There was no one there.

- + -

Kai raced onto the streets. He had to get to the bus station before the bus took off for the airport.

Swerving this way and that, he barely missed the other cars. Car horns were blasted from behind him, all of which he ignored. There was one thing on his mind now, and only that was of importance.

The lanes and vehicles flashed past, he leaving them in the dust as soon as they came into view.

Then suddenly, he slammed down on his brakes. The cars in front of him were not moving at all. They were at a standstill. He could not believe it. Of all the times to get stuck in a blasted traffic jam.

-

_He swung around and came face to face with Rei. They were but centimetres apart, and Rei's amber orbs were filled with fear, surprise and...trepidation?_

_It had been so long that he had seen Rei face to face like that. True, they lived in the same house, but Rei was very highly skilled at dodging him. But now...now...Rei was practically nose to nose with him, staring him in the face._

_Fate had thrown him a chance and he was not going to waste this one._

"_Rei, I -" Kai began, reaching out to grab Rei's hand, intent to make him listen to what he had to say._

_Something in Rei's eyes hardened, disgust taking over. With a feral growl, Rei slapped Kai's hand away before it touched him._

_The force of the slap was hard enough to stop Kai from another attempt, but not hard enough to actually cause him pain._

_He brushed past Kai, and with 3 seconds, was out of sight, the last strand of his ponytail disappearing round the corner. Kai bit his lip and closed his eyes tightly._

-

_But there is something...something important._

-

Drumming his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel, Kai frowned and concentrated on not swearing or slamming his fist into the dashboard in pent up frustration.

A motorcycle pulled up beside him, engine rearing so loudly that he found inself turning to glance at the owner. Piercing blue eyes, under flaming red hair, stared at him, gaze holding a hint of humour.

"Tala?" Kai asked in disbelief.

Tala grinned.

"We got a call from Tyson, roughly sketching out the contents of a certain love letter..."

Kai's cheeks burned. "It's not a love letter." He mumbled, knowing that Tala didn't give a damn.

"And that doesn't explain why you're here."

"C'mon Kai...do you think Bryan would have just let his precious Rei-rei off without, and I quote, 'attaining true happiness'? He practically held me at knife-point and threatened to kill me if I did not help you get out of this traffic jam. We do listen to traffic news you know."

"Bryan said 'attaining true happiness'?" Kai asked, incredulous.

Tala cracked up with laughter.

"Are you out of your mind? Duh, no. It was the little shrimp."

"Ian?"

"How many other little shrimps do you know?"

"I see."

"So are you just going to continue brooding in your car or are you going to exchange vehicles with me so that you could catch Bryan's precious Rei-rei and save my life?"

"Why isn't Bryan here then?"

"He would have created a scene. I forbade him to. I still have power as a captain."

Kai flashed Tala a grin, the first one in who knew how long, and got out of his car.

Soon, he was on the motorbike and speeding off to the front of the jam.

Tala sighed to himself.

"Why do _I_ always have to play the hero?"

- + -

All the passengers were on the bus, and the driver was already on his seat. The engine was ignited, and it nrumbled.

Then all of a sudden, it spluttered weakly before dying away again. Cursing, the driver went down the stairs and yelled for the mechanic.

Both of them glanced at each other, went to the back of the bus, to the front, all the while talking in hushed tones.

Aboard the bus again, the driver said in an apologetic tone, "Due to a difficulty that we didn't count on, the bus would have to be delayed for ten minutes. We apologise for the inconvenience caused."

Kai manoeuvred the motorbike, weaving his way in and out of the treacherous close propinquity of the cars.

It was as if there were no red lights and no other impediments on the roads. It was as if he was the only one on the wide expense, trying to get from one place to another as fast as the engine would allow.

The trees and flowers at the side of the road flashed past, blurring together to form a mere colourful shape that made no sense whatsoever.

But as he was about to increase his speed, he heard the distant but unmistakable wailing of a traffic police car. Cursing to himself, he pulled over, knowing that he would never he be able to beat them. He wanted to get it over with as fast as possible.

-

_Kai stepped into the living room, stealing a glance at Rei. At that same moment, Rei glanced up from his conversation with Max, a smile on his lips. His eyes met Kai's. The smile disappeared at once._

_Fiery crimson iris stared back at him. The mere ferocity and intensity of that look made him keep on staring. He couldn't break away, not even if he tried._

_And he wasn't trying._

_Their eyes locked together, and Kai's feet came to an abrupt halt on their own accord. They were trapping each other with their gaze without meaning to. But that didn't mean they didn't want to._

-

_I'm heading for my hometown in China. Catching the first plane there._

-

"Yes officer, I'll never do it again sir."

Anything for the stupid guy to leave him the hell alone.

"Thank you."

For the life of him, he did not know what the police man had been saying.

Driving slowly and cautiously, like the way he was supposed to, Kai waited till he had turned a corner and he was well out of sight. Then, he went full speed, faster than what he was pulling off before he had been pulled over.

"Sucker."

- + -

Rei was staring aimlessly out of the window, looking at nothing in particular. He was bored, and bored was never good.

It made him dredge up events that he did not particularly want to recollect. It recreated the melancholy feeling of uncertainty and second thoughts, something he did not particularly care for.

As if on their own, his fingers flipped open his wallet and between the folds of notes and receipts, he brought out a photograph almost long forgotten.

It was a colour photograph, and it was of the Bladebreakers. It had been Kai's birthday and they had celebrated it, regardless of Kai's vehement protests that he did not need a birthday celebration – that was for kids, and threats to double their training programme.

-

"_HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. SOURPUSS!"_

"_Say that one more time Tyson, and your head will roll."_

"_Lighten up Kai! It is your birthday after all. Can't you, just for one day, be a nice guy?"_

"_No."_

"_Somehow, I expected this answer."_

"_Hey guys, the cake is here." Max had called out, almost nervously, to break up an almost certain impending melee between a fuming Kai and an insulted Tyson._

_That took Tyson's concentration._

"_Yeah! The cake! My favourite part of the birthday." Tyson cheered._

"_Make a wish Kai!" Max had stated, practically bouncing up and down with barely contained excitement._

"_No." _

"_C'mon Kai! Don't be such a big baby. Just make a wish."_

"_No."_

"_Just make it so that Tyson would get his cake and shut up." Rei had said silently into Kai's ears._

_Kai had glanced up at him and smirked._

"_That's right. Then at least we would all get some peace and quiet."_

"_WHAT! What did you say to him Rei?" Tyson demanded._

"_Shh Tyson. You wanted me to make a wish? Well, I need silence to do it."_

_Everyone fell silent as Kai bowed his head._

_After a brief moment, Kai glanced up. He caught Rei's eye and grinned. Rei felt himself returning it._

-

Rei smoothed out the worn edges, faint fingerprints overlying one another proof of the numerous times that he had taken out the picture, and the noticeable creases evidence of the countless times it had been folded up again.

"That your boyfriend?" A voice to his left broke him out of his mindless reverie.

He had not realised that he had been tracing out an imaginary circle around Kai's face, almost as if caressing him.

He glanced up at the stranger, stunned that someone could be so open and straightforward. After all, many people did not take homosexuality too well. He wasn't going to give anything away, but then, he figured, why not? After all, he was leaving this place and never coming back, right? He might as well talk to this stranger. Besides, the stranger had a sympathetic voice. Maybe he could provide some commiseration that would take his mind off memories.

"I wish." He answered, a bitter tone that he had not expected lacing his answer.

The stranger was silent for so long that Rei was almost certain he had left.

"You're running away?"

Rei almost jumped.

How could this stranger read so much off him?

"Not running away, just...I just need some time to think, sort some things out."

"Running doesn't solve anything you know?" The stranger was relentless.

"I'm not running away." Rei reiterated, irritation entering his voice.

The stranger shrugged.

"Sure, whatever you say." But it was obvious that he was not convinced.

"Running doesn't solve anything, whatever the case may be." The stranger repeated in that same slightly chiding tone of his.

"I know." Rei said.

Then, softer, almost a whisper, "I know."

The bus started up then, and the stranger returned to his seat, leaving Rei to his thoughts.

- + -

Kai was reaching the bus station soon, cursing some more as if he could feel Rei slipping right through his fingers.

-

"_You were drunk. And you wanted to drink more. It wasn't good for your health."_

"_Why do you give a damn Kai? Why do you give a fucking damn anyway?" Rei's eyes were but slits now._

"_Because-"_

_Rei cut across him._

"_Why don't you let me drown my sorrows in alcohol?"_

_He shook his head, disgust etched clearly on his face._

"_Forget it." He spat._

_He spun around and was about to head to his room when Kai grabbed his right arm, halting him in his tracks._

_He turned around to face Kai again. Kai looked like a tormented soul. He looked hurt. Betrayed. Confused. But above all, wounded._

_And when he spoke, his voice was low and dangerous, mixed with a hint of melancholy._

"_What sorrows?"_

_Rei wrenched his arm from Kai. Did Kai not know? Did he really not understand?_

_Or was he just playing with him._

"_I hate you." Each word was hissed out, and laced with pure unadulterated anger._

-

_You're probably reading this and wondering what the hell I'm trying to say. I've never had a way with words. Don't worry, I won't take too much of your precious time._

-

He was so close now. So close.

The bus rumbled and this time, did not break down. It started off, and began moving along the road.

Rei couldn't help but risk a last glance back as the bus pulled out of the parking space. When he saw nothing but the almost endless asphalt road behind him and felt a sinking in his stomach, he chided himself.

What had he been expecting? The entire Bladebreakers running after the bus? Yeah, right. But Kai should have gotten his letter by now, right?

'So what?' a small voice in his head said.

So what indeed.

Kai's lack of presence must mean that he didn't care.

And for some reason, that hurt worse than physical pain. Hurt more than the slap.

-

_Kai was in his room, rubbing the sides of his head with circular motions, a pained expression on his countenance._

_Rei smiled to himself. It was amazing how Kai Hiwatari, the invincible Kai Hiwatari, could be defeated and reduced to carrying around a bottle of aspirin by a boisterous energetic Japanese named Tyson._

_And on his birthday too._

_Walking over to his bag, he took out his gift for Kai._

"_Happy birthday Kai." He said quietly, not wishing to surprise his captain and give him a heart attack._

_Kai opened his eyes and gave Rei a wan smile._

"_Thank you."_

_Almost shyly, Rei thrust the package into Kai's folded lap. "I got this for you. Hope you like it."_

_Kai's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. "You shouldn't -" he started. But as he glanced up into Rei's wide open gaze, he knew that 'no' was out of the question._

_Fingering the scotch tape, Kai smoothed out the wrapping paper and unfolded the present. Inside, resting neatly among the paper, was a headband with the Ying-Yang symbol, an exact replica of the one Rei had. His actions slow, Kai reached out and ghosted his hand over the headband. It was pure silk and felt extremely comfortable underneath._

"_It's not much." Rei stated nervously. He couldn't tell by Kai's actions whether he liked it or not._

"_I couldn't find anything, so -"_

"_It's brilliant. Thank you." Kai glanced up again, the sincerity of his gratefulness stunning Rei and making him feel awkward._

"_-sort of like a remembrance. So that you'll remember you'd ever had a team mate by the name of Rei Kon who liked to wear headbands with the Ying-Yang symbol." Rei grinned._

"_Baka," Kai said fondly, "I don't need a headband to remember you. But-"_

_Kai shifted the headband out of Rei's reach as Rei leaned across to get it. "But you're not getting this back. It's mine now, right?"_

_Rei grinned at him, and before long, both of them had burst out laughing._

-

Rei smiled serenely.

Running doesn't solve anything. He knew that.

But the memories were better; sweeter. Shouldn't that count for something?

- + -

Kai picked up speed, tires screeching as they mounted a corner and leaving a cloud of dust and sand behind him. He was nearing the bus station.

As he skidded around the last corner to the station, in the distance, he spotted a large bus making its way along the road away from him, rumbling as it went along. Was that the bus Rei was in? Was he too late?

Desperation as thick as sand clogged his throat, making it difficult for him to swallow. Cussing, he leaned forward, mentally willing his bike to go faster. A large screaming yellow sign loomed up ahead of him, seemingly out of nowhere. It was as though with Rei on his mind, he became impervious to everything else.

Who in bloody hell placed the idiotic sign there? Did he or she not think beforehand that it might, oh I don't know, obstruct people or something? One might think that the person would want to deliberately block someone's way; one would think that the person actually intended to prevent anyone from crossing there with a vehi-...oh... Oh.

Kai leaped off his bike and moved closer to the sign to confirm his speculations. In block letters printed boldly in black, the sign read 'NO ENTRY FOR VEHICLES'.

Ah.

-

"_My command is law." He grounded out through tightly clenched teeth._

"_You think you're so great Kai Hiwatari! Well, you're not!"_

_Kai gripped the sides of his armchair so tightly that his knuckles turned white, sinking his nails into the soft cushion._

_But Rei was on a toll and he was not stopping. He did not notice Kai's pained expression._

"_Always bulling us around. What right do you have?"_

_Getting no reply only served to infuriate Rei even more._

_His voice increased till he was practically yelling at the top of his voice._

"_Do you even care? Are you even listening? What right do you have to control my life? What right exactly?"_

_Kai could not stand it any longer. It was grating on him._

_He was out of his seat in one swift moment and throwing all his strength into his right palm, slapped Rei so hard that Rei was thrown across the floor, knocking him against the wall._

-

_The thing is, one of the greatest mistakes in my life was falling for you._

-

"That bus that just went, where's it heading?" Kai was out of breath.

The lady looked up, shocked that anyone could be so curt.

"That bus is heading for the local airport sir." She responded as politely as she could. The teenager had a tough look to him and he was currently sporting a frustrated expression.

"Did you see a Chinese teenager getting on it? Long black hair, braided to his shins. Amber eyes."

She certainly remembered. The girls had been talking about him, whispering behind their hands and giggling flirtatiously. They had been trying to get his attention the entire time he had been here, talking about how handsome and cute he was. She winced. The poor boy.

"As a matter of fact, I did."

The teen cursed in what she suspected was Russian, in a way that made the lady wince and wish she had not heard it. Then, without a proper thank you or even a semblance of acknowledgement, he was gone, sprinting away into the distance towards his bike.

The lady shook her head. Youngsters these days.

Kai geared up his bike till the rumbling was almost unbearable before letting go of the gears and roaring away to the road. He was losing time, fast. Damn the bloody bus. Damn everything.

If the situation wasn't so serious and if Kai had been thinking straight, he would have been laughing at himself.

Here he was, the great invincible Kai Hiwatari.

It was amazing. Amazing how one single person could do this to him. Amazing how one Chinese teenager could make his heart race and made him even more nervous than before a major beyblading match. It was amazing how he was chasing after that same person, ready and willing to bare his soul of the first time ever, desperate to get him back and apologise. Amazing how he, Kai Hiwatari, was prepared to admit that he was wrong, and ask for forgiveness.

-

Kai ran into the airport, the blast of cold air from the air conditioner blowing against his skin, almost coming as a shock. Scanning the crowd, he could see nothing trademark of Rei. He paused for a moment to gain his bearings, his breath coming in gulps and tearing at his throat. People walking by who were not too engrossed in their own matters paused a second to glance queerly at the teenager who looked so determined and purposeful, yet at the same time so lost – his hair windblown and in disarray. Some of them recognized him as the team captain of the great Beyblading team, some didn't. Kai didn't care. He had been past caring long ago. Dignity might as well have been flung out of the window.

It was in the middle of the holidays, yet not that close to Christmas: the perfect opportune moment to fly overseas for a long holiday. The bloody airport was freaking crowded.

In the distance, he could hear the murmur of voices, excited shouts of children, the polite titter of office attendants and the faint metallic 'beep' of machines. It all sounded so far away, so foreign. He blocked everything from his sight and mind, intent only on his task of searching for Rei. Then, he spotted a mass of long black hair. Eyes lighting up, he ran towards that person, banging into several people in his haste. Not even bothering to look behind him despite the muttered threats and the some not so discreet threats. The hands of a clock could not be turned back.

This was his last chance.

Out of the blur, an airport attendant pushing a row of trolleys leisurely crossed his path, rendering him incapable of crossing. An impeccably dressed businessman pushed a mountain of luggage stacked on his trolley right across Kai's vision. When the long line of trolleys and the businessman had finally gone by, the long haired person was out of sight.

Kai shook his head, almost unable to believe his rotten luck. Making his way to the signboard where the flight and their times were placed up on as fast as he could, he noted that the flight to China was due in five minutes and passengers were to board at gate 32.

Kai pushed forward, and swung around the enclosed section. His eyes darted from object to object, anxious not to spend too much time on an entity, lest he was careless; yet afraid to overlook Rei. But it was getting more and more difficult to spot anyone. The faces and shapes of human forms merged together, till they became blobs and blurs of various colours.

A long long braid of hair the deepest ebony falling to shins. Rei? The outfit was different, but Rei had not taken all his clothes when he had ran away, right?

Kai walked across with long purposeful steps and grabbed the person by the elbow, tugging the person around effectively. "Rei."

It wasn't Rei. It was a girl. Kai stumbled back, surprised.

"Sorry." He hastened, not looking back to see if the girl was laughing at him. Where the hell was Rei? The sense of urgency that had been building up from what seemed like forever was coming full blast now, edging him near panic.

Then, he saw a flash of amber and black out of the corner of his eye. Whipping around, he finally caught sight of Rei. For a nanosecond, he almost could not believe it himself. Not after the long tiring day of many failed attempts and having everything against him. But when he saw the uniquely Rei smile that he was giving the customs officer, he recognised it at once, biting his lip to stop the wave of wistfulness.

And Rei was boarding the plane already. All that separated them was a piece of transparent glass.

"Rei!" he called out, getting the attention of passer-bys, but not Rei himself. Apparently, the glass was pretty good at muffling sound.

He made a move to get to Rei, only to be held back by two burly hands around his middle. Strange, how he had not noticed them before. Not noticed that he had to, obviously, get pass them to get to the segmented section of the airport where Rei was.

"Sorry kid. No one goes there without a boarding pass. Got yours?" the voice was condescending, seeing as Kai had nothing with him.

Kai bit back a scathing remark at the tip of his tongue. It was just wasting time and energy. He made another effort to get pass the guards, but they were too strong for him. Anger and desperation raged inside of him, and he hissed out in barely controlled rage. This hoard of imbeciles did not understand anything.

Seeing Rei getting further away, he cried out once more, "Rei!" This time more desperately. If he had been thinking logically, he would have yanked back from the two men, and than fake a right, effectively passing them. But he wasn't, seeing as the only thing on his mind was Rei, and how to get him back before it was too late. He could only struggle in vain against the tenacious grip the security guards had on him. Slowly, he could sense the tenuous link that he had with Rei break, feel Rei slipping through his fingers like liquid.

Rei disappeared into the passageway linking the airport to the side of the plane. Kai stopped resisting, crumpling almost limply in the grip he was held in.

-

_And the greatest? After all that's happened, I'm still in love with you._

-

He did not want to believe it.

He could not be gone. Not now. Not when Kai was sorry he was wrong. Not when he realised just how much Rei meant to him. He needed Rei, damn it! No one understood just how badly.

As if in a daze, he pulled back from the now lax grip, his eyes wide with disbelief and refusal of acceptance, shaking his head slowly, almost as though doing that a repeated number of times could bring Rei back. Almost as if that could change everything.

He took step after step slowly, moving away from the guards, away from Rei.

There were two types of people.

The first kind was the type who gave in easily to pressure, sinking into depression without a fight and wallowed in self pity. They knew no resistance, soon fading away into nothing, leaving but an empty shell of a human body.

The second kind was the type who persevered under exorbitantly harsh conditions, proving others wrong; the kind with a fighting spirit that never waned. But even those people had a certain limit, a certain breaking point. They rarely hit that limit, sure, but that made it all the more worse when they did. And when desperation hit, they hit back.

Kai was the second kind.

Losing Rei was his limit; his breaking point. He swung around wildly, dignity long gone, the burning pain in his chest growing so fast and so painful that it was overwhelming him. The next second, he lit out of the airport, legs hitting the ground at a scary pace, that unknown feeling pushing him and making him feel as though he could go on like this forever.

And as he ran with no idea of where he was heading, his eyes smarting from the pressure of the wind he was going against.

Or maybe, it was the tears that trickled down, unnoticed, by the owner.

-

End Chapter Five


	6. Dreaming

Standard disclaimer applies-

* * *

"_I lie on cooling concrete on an open rooftop, velvet black above me and the chilling wind circling around. A glimpse into the past dregs up memories of your laughter, and maybe, perhaps, that would allow me to breathe for awhile._

"_The night is perfect, really, and I feel my eyelids droop shut in exhaustion. I'm not in my bed, but then again, I'm not anywhere. Much needed sleep overwhelms me, and I ponder the usefulness of it, because all that it means is I would always be dreaming of you."

* * *

_

Chapter 6: Dreaming

Kai leaned forward, silently urging the bike to go faster. His face was taut with anxiety, brows creased with palpable urgency. As he rounded the corner with a hair-raising screech, he spotted the bulky end of the yellow bus heading away from him, trundling into the distance.

Something, call it a gut feeling, whispered to him earnestly that Rei was on that bus. On the way to the airport. Back to China. Out of his life. Everything could have been perfectly fine.

The problem though, was that Kai didn't want Rei out of his life.

Gritting his teeth together harshly, he narrowed his eyes against the force of the wind pressure that was cutting into his face.

"C'mon..."

He was so close now. He could do this. He had to do this.

But even with his newfound enthusiasm and his frenzy fuelling his steel-willed determination, it could not fuel his engine and he found himself slowly but surely falling behind.

Chagrin thick as sand clogged his throat and a sinking feeling settled heavily in his stomach.

In a last minute desperate attempt to grab Rei's attention, he yelled impulsively.

"Rei!"

Aboard the bus, various passengers started from their seats, frowning. They had heard a name being called, faintly. So faint that they were uncertain as to whether they had actually heard it, or if it had just been a mere figment of their imagination. Some shook their heads as if to clear it, deciding that they had thought it up. Others glanced about curiously.

"Rei!"

There it went again. More people heard it, and some twisted around in their seats impatiently to look at other passengers to see if they had heard it too. And now, some began to turn to the back of the bus. This time, they were pretty sure it wasn't thought up. The voice had been so frantic. There had been so much emotion in it, so much so that it could not have plausibly been faux. It had been real – so real that it crossed the line that separated reality from dreams.

"Rei!"

This time, the entire bus heard it. Some heard it clearly, while others simply heard a shout, but they heard it all the same. The bus driver started slowing down.

The ones who were sitting in the back row turned around in their seats to face the road behind, convinced that they had heard the curious sound from the back. In the distance was the weirdest thing. An outline of a furiously speeding teenager, perched precariously over the firmly gripped handles of his motorcycle, a concentrated expression on his visage. It seemed like something out of a movie.

"Is there a Rei here?" Someone called out into the bristling murmur of the bus.

No one answered. And then –

"Yeah?"

The entire bus turned to the ebony haired Chinese teenager. The mutterings increased.

"Someone was calling your name. There's a guy out there on a motorcycle. I suggest you go check it out."

For some unfathomable reason, the teenager paled, and he called out weakly, "Someone stop this bus. Please." His voice was trembling.

The bus let out a tired hiss before rolling to a grinding halt. The front doors slid open with a hiss, and the rumble of a motorcycle pulling up near the bus was audible. People were craning their necks trying to get a glimpse of what was going to happen.

"Rei."

Kai swung his other leg off the motorbike before jogging up to the waiting figure in the distance.

Rei's face was hard and cold, void of emotion. His arms were crossed, drawn taut over his chest in a defensive position. He wasn't smiling.

"Rei." Kai's breath got shallower. Shallower and softer and sadder than it had ever been.

"I..." Kai swallowed the large lump in throat with difficulty. Had he really done this to Rei? Rei, who had always been bright and cheery and forgiving and so so sweet. Kai wished Rei would at least glaring at him. Even if he was angry or frustrated or pissed, it was still a reaction. Still an emotion. Still a feeling.

Now, he was reticent and serious. The mere thought and glance at Rei made it difficult to inhale. Had he really made Rei like that? The guy who looked out for his friends and cared for everyone? Turned him into, into someone whom he could barely recognise with a scarily stoic nature? Turned Rei into himself. God. What had he done?

The thought made him sick to the stomach.

"Rei, I -"

He never did seem to get pass those two words, did he? When had his vocabulary dwindled to that?

Then again, what words were there exactly, for situations like this?

And Rei wasn't really helping matters either. Nor were the curious bunch of audience they had, with their noses pressed firmly against the glass window of the bus.

"What do you want Kai?" The tone was cold. So cold that it was chilling; and sharp enough to slice through metal. Kai nearly winced. That had hurt.

But it was a good question, all the same.

What did he want. A very good question. He didn't know.

But there must have been something. Something he had wanted desperately enough for him to toss any last remaining shred of dignity to the winds and chase after Rei, even accepting help from Tala. He never accepted help from someone, because it meant that he was dependant upon another, and that thought made him feel very weak, like he was not good enough.

What did he want? Silly, how he never even considered it. He wasn't one to do things without reason, or acting on an impulse.

Suddenly, he felt a deep rise of indignation. He was here to apologise, damn it! He had chased Rei all the way here and he was truly sorry and couldn't Rei tell that this was the first (and last) time that he was going to ask for forgiveness and actually admit that he was in the wrong, all the while giving his carefully prepared speech contritely.

And he was exhausted and emotionally drained from the long long day, and he did not wish to be ogled at by people who seriously should not stick their infuriating noses into other's business and he had never like being stared at, no matter how much he managed to hide that fact. But you know what? To hell with the consequences.

And before he could think twice and change his mind because he knew that the risk he was taking in this one was very big and it could crush every dream he had, and he had no idea what would happen, he leaned down and caught Rei's lips with his own swiftly, before Rei had time to see him move in and step away, or for him to even feel surprised.

The last coherent thought was that he hoped those idiots who said 'words were better than actions' seriously knew what they were talking about, because he didn't know what he would do if this did not work out.

The last thought, actually, that wasn't gibberish, because damn did Rei taste good.

But then suddenly, Rei pulled back, frowning at him.

"Go away Kai. I never want to see you again." That same steely tenor.

Rei turned his back and –

Kai bolted up from his bed, heaving heavily; back and face drenched in sweat. A dream, he thought frantically. It was just a dream.

Closing his eyes as a tired sigh escaped his lips, he let his body slum flat down onto his bed. Again. He was having the same dream again. To be honest, they should be classified as nightmares. He groaned, and went to drag his exhausted body into the showers.

-

"Hurry up."

"We're coming Kai! Geez..."

Tyson and Max hurried out of the door after Kai, not wishing to incur his wrath. Not that Kai blew up or was unhinged so easily nowadays. If they thought that Kai was an unfeeling git with no emotions in the past, they had to think again.

When they first met Kai, he was a selfish, mean idiot. Then he started to warm up to them, or more specifically, to Rei. But he did morph into a friendlier person, who would at least make the effort to answer when spoken to. After that, Kai started showing facial expressions, attempted to express his feelings and emotions, given that they were somewhat negative, or even if they were positive, it was still in a sort of sadistic psychotic serial killer kind of way. But that was not the point. And sometimes, God save us all, he tried his hand at humour.

He tried to laugh. Though it sounded more like an evil villain cackling, and less like a good humoured laugh. Tyson shuddered at the scarily vivid memory. It had sent chills up his spine.

Prior to that, he had imagined that Kai was beyond any comprehension of anything remotely related to humour, and way past featuring any kind of positive attitude beyond the idiotically condescending, arrogant, psychotic laughter that he gave once in a while. Of course, if Kai heard this, he would be denying all claims. After all, he was a Hiwatari and as he would put it, Hiwatari's did not 'laugh' – they cackled maliciously.

All things considered, it was more pleasant being around Kai after he joined the Bladebreakers as opposed to before.

But after, Rei's...absence, Kai withdrew further into the still-present grotto that he had created since forever, and rarely came out. If he was there in body, he certainly wasn't in soul. In retrospection, he was more unfeeling and drained. It was as though he was only allowed a certain amount of feelings that he could display, and he used all of that up when Rei was around, leaving behind absolutely nothing left. He became quieter, first converting back into the old Kai that they were accustomed to when they first met him; and later, as each day passed, was noticeably more reticent.

Tonight, Tala was holding a 'party' for the Bladebreakers who were in the country, and all Demolition Boys. Masked under the topic 'Getting to know each other better and reminiscing', it was a gathering to get Kai to lighten up and 'get over Rei'. Though, personally, every single one of them was aware of the fact that the only one who would be able to do that was plausibly Rei himself. Kai was not getting over someone who practically changed his bad-ass attitude for the better conspicuously anytime soon.

The ride to Tala's house was in silence. There was little for Tyson and Max to talk about that would interest Kai, except perhaps Rei, which even Tyson knew would not be a good idea. Rei was off-limits as a topic.

After Rei left the Bladebreakers, the entire team broke up, although they still lived together to cut down on rental expenses. Under the BBA, they got jobs as trainers for bladers whose ambition was to be the World's number one.

Kenny opted for a different genre of an occupation, instead choosing to join the Intelligence Unit, working for the government. They got together with from time to time, to just chat and laugh and keep in touch.

Rei was never talked about. Tyson and Max got his particulars from the BBA and tracked him down, keeping contact through email and long distance calls. As they lived with Kai, they didn't dare use snail mail, for fear of Kai finding one of the letters. The truth was, they did not have a problem with telling Kai about where Rei was exactly, and pestering him to go to China and get Rei back. Unfortunately, Rei had pleaded with them not to tell Kai, for some reason that he did not give. Respecting his wishes, they did as told.

Basically, Rei seemed to be faring well in his old village with Mariah and Lee and the rest of the White Tigers as friends and apparently, he lived from day to day having fun, helping from time to time with the harvest and running errands in the village. His main job was teaching youngsters who had interest in beyblading.

Tyson had almost laughed at the fact that all of them, with the exception of Kenny, were now working with beyblade related jobs.

When they talked with Rei online or through the phone, he sounded happy and completely satisfied with his life. But when the subject matter even hinted at Kai, he turned detached and impudent. They soon got the meaning of it and kept to not mentioning Kai at all.

It seemed like Kai wasn't alone in the bitter department.

The car pulled up in the driveway, and the front door opened. Tala stepped out, a wide grin on his face. Kai nodded once at him to acknowledge his presence. It had been reduced to this. Tala's warm welcome completely ignored by Kai, Kai off alone in his own world, and Max and Tyson left to make conversation.

"Tala! Nice to see you again buddy!" Tyson called out into the tense silence, his voice sounding louder than usual and filled with false cheerfulness. Tala turned to him and offered another grin, this time more strained. It was clear that he was getting tired of Kai's unsociable act.

"Tyson, Max, Kai. Nice to see you guys too. Come on in."

Tala ushered them into the house before shutting the door. Tyson and Max started another round of ceremonial greetings with the rest of the Demolition while Kai got caught up in a heated battle of glaring coldly at Bryan.

Things had gotten tense between them after the incidence years ago, and one could hardly leave both of them alone.

Conversation was struck up swiftly, and chatting over their various interesting experiences since the last time they met began, with only Kai and Bryan not participating. Once in a while, Kai would glance at Bryan, or Bryan would glance at Kai, another staring match would ensue, tension would grow, and the voices in the conversation would grow louder to cover up the suddenly chilly ambience.

Drinks and snacks were served, and more talkin, and glaring, was done.

The spiel died down a bit, and there was silence.

Tyson suddenly perked up.

"Oh! I remember once, it was my turn to do the grocery shopping, and as I was paying up, I had the misfortune of being served by a very rude -"

"Rude people come in almost every form and size." Bryan cut across in his flat, soft voice, his cold gaze upon Kai's emotionless one, joining the conversation for the first time.

Tyson was stunned by the sudden interruption and was staring at Bryan with large surprised eyes. There was apprehensive silence for a while.

However, once Tyson regained his bearings, he continued, somewhat nervously, "Anyway, there was a not so polite cashier that served me, and she treated the items I placed on the table very roughly and -"

"Some things aren't meant to be treated roughly. Yet, some ignorant fools still insist on acting obtusely."

Before any of them could say anything, Kai stood up abruptly, overturning the chair he had been sitting on, grabbed his keys and coat, and was out of the door, slamming it behind him.

The loud slam of the door ricocheted off the walls and into the stunned silence.

"Wow," Tyson whistled. "That was some slam!"

More silence.

"Bryan. That was uncalled for." Tala frowned, showing his displeasure of Kai's and Bryan's attitudes for the first time that night.

Bryan just glared back, albeit less fierce. Tala's presence still commanded some respect, even from Bryan, and respect was something that had been taught to them over and over again, thoroughly.

"He deserved it. I warned him. He didn't take that warning. Now he bears the repercussion." It was glaringly obvious that Bryan did not think that he was in the wrong.

There was a long pause. No one could argue against that. Bryan did warn Kai. Kai ought to have taken that. And for what Kai did, he certainly deserved whatever Bryan threw at him.

"I don't hate him. I just hate what he did." And with that, Bryan stood up and left, leaving them with something to mull over. He was a man of few words.

And he was also very very frank.

Kai did deserve all that. And more, truth be told.

-

The wind bit callously into his face and stung his cheeks. But the young man paid no heed to any of it.

He was striding with long quick steps through the frosty night air, gait quick and purposeful, but rash, as if he simply had too much pent up energy and frustrations that he needed to let out. His head was bowed slightly, forehead creased in annoyance, eyes narrowed in barely contained fury, and his lip bitten in confusion.

Damn it. Damn it all! Why couldn't Bryan just forget it and let it go? Did he really think that he wasn't paying enough? As if not every single bloody second went by with Rei's smiling face stuck in his mind? As if the gnawing feeling in his chest wasn't a constant admonishment for his absolutely thoughtless deed, and the fact that he longed to see that smile upon Rei's face once again? As if he could overlook the fact that it was him in the first place that had made that heart-wrenching smile disappear?

Did he really believe that if it was not for his constant reminders, he would have forgotten clean about Rei? Could he even have imagined that Rei would even leave his mind? He was only making this much more difficult, and he didn't really want or need to deal with this right now, damn it!

His rapid gait broke into a sprint. And Kai ran, long legs stretching and feet hitting the asphalt pavement at a fleet velocity.

All the passers-by saw was a blur of whirling colours, a long white scarf streaming out back, a gush of sudden wind, and the unmistakable sound of feet on concrete, going as swiftly as it had came.

When Kai had exhausted the anger and frustration inside of him, he slowed to a jog till he was walking again.

If Bryan thought that was the way things were, well, he was wrong.

So, so wrong.

He knew that he had made a mistake. He knew that Rei's absence was his fault, his slip-up. But it wasn't as if he was not being punished enough already.

He had thought that that constant ache in him, and waking up to the empty warmth of his room - with no laughing, grinning amiable Chinese teenager to tease him if he had gotten up later than was usual that the 'Grand Hiwatari' was slacking and losing his touch - was chastisement enough. He had imagined that the mere knowledge of Rei's lack of presence was retribution already. And then, on top of all that shit that he had to put up with, there were those dreams. He heaved a deep sigh, drawing the chilling night air into his lungs, thumb and forefinger at the sides of his forehead. He really didn't need Bryan's reproach. It wasn't as though he was ignorant of everything.

He had messed up. Clear and simple. That was probably the way Bryan saw things. And the truth was, if he was in Bryan's shoes, he would be doing a lot more than just exchanging insults and glares. There would be blood involved, for starters.

It wasn't as though he could not understand Bryan's motives and why he was doing all of this. Hell, it was probably clearer to him than it was to Bryan.

He slumped down against a cold concrete bench, frame slack, the tension drained from his body. Now that he had gotten everything out of his system, he looked around him. No car, no keys, no recognition of where he was. All he could see in the growing dark was the outline of silhouettes of maple trees, their slender branches swaying fragilely in the wind.

It was getting colder. And later. Damn everything. It was as though his life couldn't get any better. A strong gust of wind blew pass, the shrill sound whistling past his ears, stinging them. Far away, there was a deep rumble of thunder. He glanced up, just as the first few drops of rain began pelting down from the ominously dark skies.

Great.

Just absolutely perfect. Someone shoot him right now.

* * *

Across the South China Sea, in a rural village located at the foot of a mountain range in China, a young man with hair the deepest ebony sat staring at the rising sun, hands locked together firmly around his bended legs.

The sun cast a myriad of light orange, faint red and maroon rays around the horizon, making it seem as though the sky was on fire. Complete with the chilly morning air and quiet peacefulness of the mountain range, it was heaven.

But, it was strange, really, how the maroon rays seemed to remind him of the distinct colour of someone's eyes.

He shook his head as if to clear it. Those thoughts were redundant, he firmly admonished himself. He was pissed at himself. Pissed that after so long, he was still unable to forget him. Pissed that until now, no matter how firmly he scolded himself or ordered himself to forget about him, he could not.

He sighed deeply in weary resignation. It was tearing at him. He was tired. So tired. Every single day spent wondering what had happened after he left, if Kai had even gotten his letter, what Kai felt and had done - most importantly, why Kai had not come for him. Or if he even felt anything for him.

The questions ripped him from the inside. It was better if he didn't think, really. Then, his mind could not wander, or make excuses for Kai, or blame him. No hurt, no sorrow, no wondering, no feeling. Better, really.

However, he couldn't stop thinking about it. It plagued him day and night, no matter what he was doing. Was this what it was like to go insane? Because he was definite that Kai was, slowly but surely, driving him insane.

Like now, for instance. This was one of the times when those memories from long past would come back and haunt him. He smiled lightly. Okay, so maybe there weren't from so long ago. But it certainly felt like eternity since…since he had seen Kai.

-

_Rei sat with his back to the bungalow that Mr. Dickenson had hired for them, his eyes trained on the regal glory of the sunrise. The magnificence was breathtaking. He could sit like that forever and just stare at it. _

_The silence was almost deafening. Suddenly, a whizzing sound cut through it, and a whirling mass of...something followed, spinning through the air before landing in front of Rei and revolving to a stop. _

_A beyblade. _

_Kai's beyblade._

_He glanced around. Kai was some feet behind him, but was staring at the sunrise with vivid interest, as if not aware that he had just sent his beyblade in front of Rei, thus disrupting the peaceful silence and catching Rei's attention in the process. In fact, if not for the slight guilty yet amused uplift of Kai's lips, he would have thought Kai to be innocent. _

_Somewhat flustered, Rei turned his attention back to the sun and proceeded to ignore Kai, not knowing what else to do. Wrong move. It seemed that that was not the reaction that Kai wanted out of him. _

"_The kitty likes sunrises too?" Kai asked airily, as if speaking to no one in particular._

_Which was quite absurd to Rei, seeing as both of them were the only ones around. _

_Slightly peeved, Rei shot back, "The phoenix has awakened? I thought phoenixes were a myth of some kind."_

_Kai answered smoothly, not missing a beat, "And here I was, thinking that kitties like mornings."_

_Rei snapped, "I'm not a kitty!"_

"_And sunrises." Kai continued, as if musing to himself, completely ignorant of Rei. _

"_And phoenixes are mean grouchy people with the temperament of a three year old throwing a tantrum." Rei retorted. _

"_So am I correct in assuming that kitties aren't morning animals?" _

"_And am I exact in hypothesising that phoenixes don't get along with dragons?"_

"_Weren't you just saying that you thought phoenixes to be mere myths?"_

"_And here I was, under the mistaken impression that phoenixes were limited to three words per day."_

"_Indeed."_

_Peace reigned once more, with Rei deciding that he would not deign to answer Kai any longer. _

_However, just when the tension was leaving Rei and he was beginning to enjoy his surroundings, a feral yell that could most probably break a decibel scale rang from the bungalow behind them. _

"_REI KON! WHERE'S BREAKFAST?"_

_Rei sighed to himself and got up, brushing the dried grass off his pants when he turned around fully and caught sight of Kai looking at him, trying to keep from laughing. He was pretending to cough to cover up his sniggering. Did anyone ever mention to Kai that his acting skills were terrible? Because they were. _

"_What?" he asked sourly, still miffed with the earlier conversation. _

"_The kitty cooks?"_

_Rei promptly reached down and grabbed Kai's blade, flinging it at Kai with all his strength. _

_Kai caught it swiftly and his smirk grew._

_Pretty soon, both of them were laughing. _

* * *

Kai gave the cab driver his address, before slumping back into the leather seats of the car as they sped away from the desolate park that he had found himself in. That was some run.

Rain was whipping braches outside, and a strong wind was howling ghostly. It was pitch black. Kai couldn't see anything.

With nothing to distract his mind, his thoughts, as usual, turned to Rei. It was implausible to forget about Rei. He was too interspersed and buried into Kai to get rid of. He had burned his way into Kai and left an unforgettable imprint in his mind, whether Kai wanted it or not; whether either of them were ready for it. It wasn't as though they could control such things, try as they might.

And it didn't even matter if Kai lost his mind or came down with amnesia out of the blue, because Rei had planted himself in his heart too. Kai could not let go of Rei, much less a single thought of him. Because even though a certain part of Kai wanted and fought desperately to let go of Rei and everything he had of him, another part fought back just as desperately, sinking its teeth firmly into his heart and absolutely refusing to budge. Because something deep within Kai recognised Rei as the greatest thing to happen to him since forever. And somewhere, he knew that letting the last remaining link to Rei be cut off just like that would be pure suicide – a disgustingly obtuse action.

And so Kai kept clinging on to that Rei inside of him like it was his last life-line. And it probably was, actually. If he had not met Rei, he would continue being an emotionless stoic thoughtless selfish pathetic excuse for a human being who would carry on hurtling on with life in his own path, more than likely injuring anyone within a ten foot radius of him with the cold fury his traumatic childhood and inhumane godfather had provided him with. More than likely he would have sunk deeper and deeper into his whirling unstable thoughts and mangled perception of the world and his ultimate goal in life that he desperately wanted to achieve – so deep that no one could reach in and grasp him to haul him; so damn deep that no one could save him.

But Rei managed to do what no one else had managed to accomplish – he had halted Kai in his mindless warpath, made him turn one hundred and eighty degrees and take a new outlook on the world and people around him. He had made him actually aware of the fact that there were people out there willing to befriend him and assist him, that there was so much more to life than pure fury and the final goal that he was striving so hard for, perhaps too hard.

Rei had saved him from the worst monstrosity possible – himself.

He owed Rei. And since Rei wasn't here, the least that he could do was to keep the memories with him. He owed Rei at least that much, if nothing else. Besides, it wasn't as though he could forget Rei as and when he wanted to. Like mentioned earlier –implausible.

"Sir?"

Kai was snapped out of his reverie, and faced the cab driver who was peering closely at him anxiously.

"What?" he glared back instinctively, feeling uncomfortable with someone invading his personal space.

The driver shrank back, but managed to get out, "We're here."

Kai growled before slapping some money into the driver's outstretched hand.

As he slammed the door of the car, and watched it speed off into the distance, he sighed heavily in resignation. His car was in the driveway, meaning that Tyson and Max were home and waiting for him.

* * *

"Rei!"

Said person grimaced noticeably, ducking his head on his knees, as if hoping that that would automatically make him invisible to the person calling him. No such luck. Seriously, voices that shrill should be completely outlawed.

A flash of pink and a pair of arms were around him, squeezing the air out of his lungs. Rei was turning blue, gasping for much needed oxygen. Luckily for him, Lee arrived in time to forcefully pry Mariah off from the helplessly choking teen.

Rei grunted, massaging his sore neck. Lee was grinning at him, not at all fazed by the fact that Rei was attempting to shoot daggers through him.

"You're disrupting my peace. What do you want?" Rei grumbled.

It wasn't that he did not enjoy talking to anyone else or was pissed at Mariah and Lee for creeping up on him like that, or even at Mariah for nearly asphyxiating him. Okay, well maybe. But, it was mostly that he did not like to be interrupted when he was enjoying the scenery.

That was what he liked to do – gaze at whatever miracle of nature that happened to happen – without anyone bothering him. He abhorred it when people came and broke the silence. In fact, looking back, the only time that he had not minded when someone interrupted him while he was gazing at anything, was with Hiwatari. Come to think of it, that was the only times that he had not blown his top or feel remotely pissed off. He wondered why.

"Well, see. Lee and I think that it's time for you to...you know, patch things up." Mariah said slowly, staring at Rei in the eyes.

Rei stiffened, before tearing his eyes away from Mariah's and saying, to the ground, "No." It was always like that when the whole Kai topic was hinted at, much less brought up so boldly. Rei would turn reclusive and shut himself off from everyone else.

Mariah rolled her eyes at Rei's stubbornness. Honestly, guys could be so obstinate just because of their pride.

Lee continued, as if Rei had not said anything, "It's been a really long time since you and Hiwatari have talked, and we just know that he is dying to see you. And we think that this stupid façade has gone on long enough. Basically, both of us, and I'm sure others, think that you and Kai should stop acting like jackasses and get a move on."

Mariah kept her eyes heavenward. Guys obviously did not have the word 'tact' in their vocabulary. Trust Lee to give it to Rei straight out just like that. She hardly thought that he would have considered the vast impact and hurt that such a topic, that caused old wounds to reopen, could break Rei's precious heart. Lee really needed to learn a few things. What if Rei just broke down and cried?

Both Lee and Rei ignored Mariah's internal rambling, knowing that she was thinking about the rougher points of a guy. It was best to stay out of her way till she was past that phase.

"No." Rei said again, this time to the sun that had almost risen completely.

"But Rei!" Mariah whined.

"Leave him." Lee ordered, knowing that it was useless.

As if it was not blatant enough from the numerous times that they had tried, and failed, to get Rei to reconcile with Kai. Those two had some serious issues to sort out.

Mariah shot him a glare, but he grabbed her arm and dragged her forcefully away.

"I'm coming! I'm coming." Mariah frowned, pulling her arm from his now slack grip.

"By the way, you need to work on your tact." She ordered.

"My tact?" Lee sounded amused.

"Yes, your tact."

"What tact?" Lee just had to be grinning.

"That is my point exactly! There is no tact whatsoever!"

"Uhuh..."

The sound of their footsteps through the gravel faded away, along with Mariah's strict tone and Lee's amused voice.

Rei smiled to himself. Lee was in for some serious discussion with Mariah. All he could say was 'good luck'.

* * *

Kai opened the door and closed it, turning around to find, as predicted, Tyson and Max waiting anxiously for him.

"Go to bed." He growled. This was not his day. He was cold, miserable, and wanted to do nothing more than to take a long hot bath and curl up in bed.

It wasn't as though that was the first time that he had ran out of Tala's house like that, or returned this late. Besides, he was older than them. He could take care of himself. They should not have wasted their time and energy waiting up for him.

"But Kai," Max whispered, starting to go into his lecture mode. All that crap about 'just looking out for him'. He had heard it a million times.

Kai slammed the door in his face, before flopping onto the bed. That bath could wait. He was dead tired.

Unfortunately, his mind was not giving him any rest from a Chinese blader. He wondered what Rei was doing now...before ordering himself to stop thinking about him.

It was always like that. The more he tried to forget about Rei, the more difficult it became. And every time after a visit to Tala or an encounter with Bryan, the memories just back more vivid, clearer than ever. He had lost track of number of hours of sleep that he had lost over the entire matter.

So, helpless, he tossed and turned, letting the reminiscing keep him up. They flashed through his mind one after another. Each more precious than the last. Each more painful.

Finally, completely emotionally and physically drained, Kai fell into a deep, uneasy slumber.

* * *

-

End Chapter Six


	7. Change of Plans

Standard disclaimer applies -

* * *

'_I know this is cliched and that these two words can never take away the pain that I have inflicted on you, or everything that I have put you through, but I know no other way of expressing myself, so here – I'm sorry. _

'_For everything._

'_For being an oaf. For being a ignorant idiot who is and has always been utterly compliant to your needs, though this inept head I feel ashamed to call mine has prevented me from showing that to you. For saying one thing, but truly meaning another. For not telling you to read between the lines._

'_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry a million times over, and knowing that it is impossible has not stopped me from wishing that I could take it all back, so I could be beside you to wipe the tears from your eyes.'

* * *

_

Chapter 7: Change of Plans

It was amazing how one person could dominate your thoughts so completely Rei mused as he gazed blurrily at the rising sun. Once more, he had woken up specifically to enjoy the serenity of nature, this time in the woods instead of the mountain side. However, whether it was here or there, one thing remained constant – the mesmerising glow of the sun as it cast light across the face of the earth.

Life moved fast. Seconds were but a mere snap of the fingers. And that soon turned into a minute. Only 60 of those made up an hour. And only 24 hours transformed into a day, and seven days was one week. 52 weeks, one miserable year. This only served as concrete evidence as to how fast time flew past. So, naturally, there was no reason why he should be missing Kai, really.

No reason at all.

Rei grimaced, flinging a hand over to shade his eyes. Right. Who the hell was he kidding?

It was scary how your entire life could drawn into a book, or retold as a story in a single night. It was frightening how fast time flashed by in a mindless blur, so fast you did not manage to catch your breath properly, or hold on to your memories long enough to reminisce. Everyone moved like they were working for more than what they knew awaited them at the end of the day. No one seemed to be able to spare the time to enjoy life was it was anymore.

Which was why Rei enjoyed being with nature. Things were peaceful. Peaceful and tranquil and sometimes, even if it was just for a moment, time seemed to pause. The scene with its scent of fresh pine wafting through like a light breeze, and indescribable backdrop etched into his mind, and then – bam! The moment was over. Life went on it's bustling way. But for one moment there, it would be pure bliss.

In his opinion, those rare moments in time were worth living for. And by far one of the most amazing occurrences of nature was when iridescent bands of dreamy lights arced over the sky, setting it aglow, colours that could not be reproduced any where else.

Heaven.

With Mariah's and Lee's incessant pleadings (and threats), he had finally conceded to at least think about the whole issue, or 'the situation you're in due to tactlessly and lack of consideration' as Lee put it gently. He only agreed to think about it to get them off his back, was what he told himself.

'Yeah, right.' The sardonic part of him commented, sneering.

But so what, he thought, shurgging it off. It was just thinking. It could not hurt. Right?

Wrong.

He was so, so wrong. It was the most painful thing - to have to go through everything again. It sent a pang of guilt and regret straight through him, piercing his heart, catching his breath and strangling him. It was so painful.

And yet, it was the most wonderful thing he had experienced.

Thinking about Kai made everything rush back to him. The memories came so fast, so easily, that he knew all this while, the only reason stopping his mind from getting a chance to relive these moments was his steel willed resolution to have nothing more to do with Kai ever again. Rei left his eyes flutter close, the ends of his mouth turning upwards.

-

_Rei had gotten up at six in the morning. Yawning and stretching, he turned, almost automatically, shifting his gaze to the right, and halted abruptly in mid stretch. Kai was still in his bed. Kai was still sleep. This did not happen often. What happened to his built in biological alarm clock, as Tyson had teasingly dubbed it? _

_He leaned over a little closer to Kai to get a good look at his face, which was half buried in his covers. Apparently, he misjudged the distance because, the next thing he knew, he had tumbled rather ungracefully out of bed and onto the floor, swathed in his blankets. _

_A rosy blush spread across his cheeks rapidly. If anyone knew about that, he would never live it down. His reputation as a graceful neko-jin would fly right out of the window. Untangling himself, he glanced around sheepishly. He heaped his blankets back on his bed and inched closer to Kai, kneeling down when he was right beside his bed. _

_He peered closely at Kai's face, the half not hidden by his blankets or hair. Kai looked, well, peaceful. He was lying chest down on the bed, head turned sideways towards Rei. His fringe, now that it was not spurned into perfection by its snoozing owner, flopped messily over Kai's face in disarray. _

_Frankly, Rei thought it looked cute. As if to taunt him even more, Kai looked satisfied and at peace with the world, a visage that was so unbecoming of Kai, their team leader, so out of place with his icy and unmoved exhibit, so unKai-like that made it that much more memorable._

_Time seemed to stop as the image of Kai sleeping so peacefully, with that sated expression on his normally stoic countenance impressed itself into his brain, revolving around and around, the only entity there, dictating his mind absolutely. _

_He began to panic. This wasn't supposed to happen. The only thing that should be able to arrest his attention like this was sunsets! Sunrises and the rushing sound of waterfall and breathtaking views of, of lit up horizons and…. Nature, anything beautiful like nature, not Kai!_

_He had to do something before Kai woke up and caught him staring at him in this manner – what would he do? Knowing Kai, probably kick him out of the room and made him keep a save 10 metres forever after. _

_But it for now, it did not appear as if Kai was about to awaken any minute. Before he knew what he was doing, Rei had reached out his right hand to brush a lock of ash-toned hair away from his eye, his forefinger brushing lightly against Kai's forehead in the process. Without warning, Kai's hand clammed around his wrist in a tight grip, and one bleary crimson eye eased open to stare at him. Groaning tiredly, Kai released his tenacious hold on Rei, pushing himself up from the bed into a sitting position. After gazing unseeingly at Rei for a minute, Kai yawned loudly and rubbed the fatigue out of his eyes. _

"_What were you doing?" Kai intoned._

_Rei gave a nervous laugh. "I was going to push your hair back because it looked so-" cute, irresistible, endearing, "-irritating."_

_Kai continued to stare at him, almost incredulously, for a few more tense minutes. Rei bit his lip and tried to ease the crease in his brows, trying to make his nervousness not that obvious. His efforts went completely down the drain. _

_Then suddenly, unexpectedly, Kai burst out into laughter that ricocheted around the confines of the room. Rei narrowed his eyes till they were but mere slits, ego deeply wounded, and growled as menacingly as he could at the laughing Kai, who was finding enjoyment at his expense, damn it! _

"_What's so funny Kai?" He hoped that it came out menacing, but had a horrible feeling that it sounded whiny. Rei had to stop himself from flinching. _

_Kai's laughter ebbed away into one of his infamous smirks. _

"_You looked so terrified, like I was going tear you apart from limb to limb. Honestly Rei, you have an over active imagination."_

_Rei, in a fit of hurt pride at his imagination being insulted, snatched his pillow from his bed and flung it as hard as he could towards Kai's laughing face. Everything rolled to halt, actions ceased, and the room dropped into a terrifyingly dead silence. Rei gazed on in detached horror as the pillow smacked dead centre in Kai's face in a mute 'thump', before proceeding to slide off his face, dropping meekly onto Kai's lap, it's purpose served. _

_He swallowed with difficulty, offering a tentative laugh that ended off too high a note for it to be natural. He was going to die. He just knew it. It was written all over Kai's face. He was going to die a painful and slow slow death that involved his innards being exposed to air. No one, absolutely no one, threw a pillow at a Hiwatari, and lived to tell the tale. God, why was his so thickheaded? Kai made no response, save getting up from his bed and advancing towards Rei in slow, sure movements that, honestly, freaked Rei out. Rei tried to inch away from Kai to get past him and escape through the door, without Kai catching onto him. _

"_REI KON! Get your lazy ass out of bed!" Tyson's loud reverberating voice sliced right through the morning air and wrought tension effortlessly. _

_Rei literally jumped at the chance to get out of the same room as Kai. _

_Moving so fast that he became a blur, he rambled, "Right. Breakfast. Gotta go!" _

_Before Kai could grasp anything, Rei was out of the door like a speeding bullet, well on his way to continued survival. _

_Upon reaching downstairs, he smiled at the guys. _

_However, they're attention was held completely by Tyson, who seemed to be reciting something or another. And they seemed to be laughing too hard to respond anyway. _

_When Tyson spotted Rei, his eyes lit up. Gesturing wildly with his hands, he began to explain. _

"_Yo Rei, listen to this. You know how Kai always says 'Hn' right? Yeah, well. I have written a book on the hidden meanings and explanations behind the word. Alas! The mystery is uncovered! Secrets revealed! It is adroitly entitled 'The words behind the 'Hn'.'"_

_At this Tyson spread his arms apart slowly through the air, in an exaggeration of faux exquisiteness. He hurried on._

"_It goes like this: Hn may be simple word. Hn may be a noise. Hn may mean nothing. Hn may mean something. In all my years, I have come to the gruelling conclusion that Hn, though not a word, is the most complex representation of an expression in the form of communication that we live through day by day. This holds true for, if not you, then at least me. _

"_You see, I happen to be unfortunate in the sense that I am in the company of one cold, stoic, detached, unfeeling bastard who was practically carved out of ice, and whom I swear was the iceberg which wrecked the Titanic in his previous life! Behold, the long lost language of the so called great Hiwatari -"_

_Tyson had been spinning around and around to face each of them, his voice rising, getting noticeably agitated with each word spoken. When all of a sudden, he halted dead in his antics, mouth dropping open._

"_Kai?" he squeaked out weakly._

_Everyone whirled around to face Kai immediately, the laughter dying in their throats. _

"_How much did you hear?" Tyson whispered. _

"_Enough."_

_A whirling entity spun wildly out of Kai's sudden thrust of hand, hitting Tyson square in the forehead, sending him to the ground in a flurry of limbs. The wildly spinning beyblade returned to Kai. Tyson wisely chose to stay on the floor and groan in pain to himself. _

"_The words behind the Hn huh?"_

_Kai barked out a bitter laugh which ended as abruptly as it had begun. _

"_You'll start training with 200 rounds around the house."_

_He stalked out of the house. Rei grinned to himself, listening to Max and Chief trying to console the despondent Tyson, who was declaring with convinced certainty that his life was over. _

_If Kai thought that the amused silver of laughter issued softly from his lips had slipped past Rei's notice, he was wrong. Kai did have a sense of humour. _

_Rei thought of the spinning Dranzer and the laps that Tyson would be running. Perhaps though, the humour was just a little twisted. _

_Still, it was humour._

-

The grin refused to leave Rei's face. That memory was priceless.

Now that he thought about it, if Kai wasn't such an asshole at the wrong moments, they might, just might, be together.

Or maybe they just didn't stand a chance, because Kai didn't like him, at least not in that way. He winced. That would be tough to digest, if it were true. Which it might.

He bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. This was the reason why he opposed to thinking about the entire thing.

The doubt and uncertainty and the sheer terrorizing feeling of hanging precariously on the edge, not knowing which way he'd fall. Onto the safety of solid ground just a metre down, or sure death from miles way up, smacking onto concrete ground, breaking every bone in his body, feeling the rush of his last breath knocked violently out of his lungs.

He shuddered.

Kai has it easy for him, he thought sourly. He just had to leave the letter, didn't he? Life was so unfair. He frowned, though many would claim they swore it was unmistakably a pout.

But there was this once…it had to mean something, right?

Right?

-

_It had been during his hospital stay, after the gruelling match with Bryan. _

_When the Bladebreakers came to visit, all of them had been crowding around his bedside, faces alight with barely concealed exuberance, the words spilling out from their mouths non-stop. All of them, save for Kai. _

_It had hurt. Rei wasn't going to kid himself anymore. Why wouldn't Kai at least act nice and warm and caring this time? I mean, he was lying helplessly on a hospital bed! What did it take to make this guy worry anyway? _

_When all the Bladebreakers had finally left the room, Tyson, Max and Chief cheerily waving goodbye, Rei heaved a deep sigh and slumped back down on his bed. They sure were overly energetic. _

_After staring blankly at the pristine white ceiling for a full minute, Rei slowly got himself into a sitting position, careful not to break any bone or worsen his injuries. They hurt enough as it was. _

_But he had to get out of the room, or he was certain he would go crazy. Clambering out of the bed, he placed his two feet as gingerly as humanely possible onto the ground, before adding weight to it. Once he was satisfied that he could withstand the pain, he stood up. Using the bedrail as a guide, he managed to get from the bed to the door. _

_As he was about to turn the handle, one hand still on the end of the bed railing, he paused. He was sure that he had heard noises from the other side. _

_Cautiously, not wanting to make too much sound to alert others, he pressed one ear against the door, straining to catch the conversation. It wasn't that he was acting paranoid or anything. It was just that if there were doctors or nurses out there, he would be reprimanded for wandering around while he was still unwell, and that would result in being heavily guarded, which would drive him insane. _

_The voices were not getting any louder, but the tones were increasingly terse, and it was blatant that they were arguing. It was almost like – they wanted to get their point across, but they did not want anyone else to overhear it._

_And, if he was not mistaken, he could hear Kai's…and, and Bryan? _

_What the hell was Bryan doing here? And why was he arguing with Kai? Frowning, Rei leaned forward._

"_Get lost." Kai was saying._

"_I want to visit Rei." Rei's mouth dropped open. Bryan wanted to visit him? What was going on?_

"_Get the hell away Bryan. Rei doesn't want to see you."_

"_That's for him to decide, isn't it? Who are you to talk for him?"_

_There was an abrupt pause in the conversation. And then –_

"_I'm his team captain. And I'm telling you to stay the hell away from him."_

_There was a snort, presumably from Bryan. _

"_Team captain huh? I bet you wish it was more."_

_Rei's eyes widened. What did that mean? _

"_Fuck off Bryan. Or I'm calling security."_

_Another pause._

"_I'll go. And not because of your threats or security. I'm going because I respect Rei's wishes."_

"_Fuck off."_

_There was the sound of fading footsteps, and then another pair nearing his room. Rei's eyes widened almost imperceptibly. He barely had time to shuffle hastily out of the way before the door to the room swung wide open, banging off the wall and smacking onto Kai's waiting palm. _

_When Kai saw Rei, the crease in his brows deepened, and the corners of his mouth tilted downwards. _

_Before Rei could gather his senses about him, much less retaliation or protest, his arm was slung around Kai's shoulders, and his waist was held tightly in a firm grip that was almost possessive. _

_He was completely helpless in stopping the light dusting of pink that spread rapidly across his cheeks like wild fire. They were so close if he reached up, he could snuggle into Kai's cheek._

_But the muttering that issued from Kai cut right through all that. _

"_What were you thinking Rei, being out of bed. This is a hospital. If you need anything, they'd get it for you. What in the world were you thinking?" Kai was glaring fiercely at him, but Rei caught the underlying tone of anxiety that laced his words. He nearly smiled. _

"_I wanted to stretch my legs."_

_Kai rested him on the bed and swung his legs to the end of the bed before snorting in half exasperation, half incredulousness. _

"_Stretch your legs? Rei, you're injured. I don't believe you." _

_Rei grinned nervously, not wanting to incur Kai's wrath any further. _

"_What do you want?"_

_Rei's expression turned to one of surprise._

"_I'll get it for you." Kai grunted, not meeting his eyes._

"_Nothing, really. I just…nothing." _

_Kai grunted once more. _

"_You want to stretch your legs right? I'm sorry, but that is out of the question. You need to rest to recover."_

_Kai pulled a chair close to Rei's bedside and seated himself firmly onto it. His glaring never ceased, pinning Rei to the bed. Rei nearly groaned in exasperation. Kai was going to blow his life sitting by his side and making sure that he did not get out of bed? Really, the over protectiveness was cute, but it was over the top. _

_Finding no other option, Rei wriggled under the covers to achieve a snugger position. Well, what he feared would happen finally did. He got himself a bodyguard. Admittedly, Kai was the best bodyguard one could have. Because besides the ensured safety, he was pleasant to the eye. Allowing himself a small but pleased grin, Rei let out a contended sigh and snuggled into his pillow, curling into a tight ball. _

'_They should provide bolsters…' was his last coherent thought._

_As his eye lids drooped and sleep became a convivial abyss of darkness, he felt a finger gently, so gently, trailing lightly over the side of his face, down from his temple to his cheek. And then he heard, faintly, as if from a great distance, "Sleep well Rei."_

-

It had to be Kai, right? Or was it just something that his mind conjured up to poke fun at him?

Now that he had spend hour upon hour thinking about the past memories that he had, he realised that all that anger he had bottled inside, incurable wrath that he thought was completely directed at Kai, was divided towards himself too. The anger at not being more tolerable, and not telling Kai sooner, and not giving Kai some leeway. His foolhardiness and idiotic stubbornness. He winced every time he remembered the slap, and the events that led up to it.

It took two to tango.

God, he was such an asshole. Why hadn't he seen it before? But it was too late now, huh? Even if Kai liked him, he would never want him now. How could he like anyone who ran away and didn't even bother to contact him? He exhaled loudly to himself.

Who was he kidding? Kai had not bothered to come after him in the first place, even after he was sure that he got the letter, even after he turned around so many times, waiting, hoping, that somehow, Kai would get to him in time.

It was not Kai's fault, really. It was not as if Kai could force himself to return his feelings, could he. It was just that it hurt so much. And like anyone else, Rei was human, and hurt transformed into biting anger. Anger that morphed into hate. Hate, that had the power to consume.

He didn't hate Kai though. The feelings were complicated. Much more complicated that being one emotion simply. He got up, dusting his pants.

He had done what Lee and Mariah and Max and Tyson had asked him to. So what now? He sorted out his thoughts, though he could not put them into words. He knew what he wished for, what he wanted to happen. He just didn't know how to make them happen.

How to find himself part of Kai's life.

He trudged back to the village, deep in thought, trying to salvage the last of the uplifting memories.

"Rei! Rei-ge ge!" He glanced up, only to have a small black mass hurl itself against him, effectively knocking the air out of his lungs.

"Hey Min." One of his students. He ruffled the kid's hair affectionately.

"Lee and Mariah want you." Min informed him, tugging eagerly at the edge of the shirt.

Rei laughed, lifting Min in his hands and placing him on his back, walking towards the house that Mariah and Lee shared.

Min let out an excited giggle, waving to everyone who looked at him. He was on Rei's back! So high, he could practically see half the village.

But Rei had to put him down when he reached the house, what with Mariah clasping his arm and dragging him into the house. When Min let out a whine of protest, Mariah shoved some sweets into his hand as compensation. Min turned tail and fled quickly, before Mariah could change her mind and take some sweets back for herself. After all, who didn't want sweets?

"What's it Mariah?" Rei asked curiously. He had not seen Mariah this excited since Lee married her.

"We thought you should hear this for yourself!" They had reached the interior of the house, and Lee was standing there, waiting patiently for them, a telephone in his hand and a knowing smirk on his face.

Rei shot him a questioning look before taking the proffered phone from Lee.

"Hello?" he asked tentatively.

"REI!"

He had to hold the phone five centimetres away. Tyson. Figures.

"Yeah. Hey, what's up?"

"You're not going to believe this! Mr. Dickenson agreed to sponsor a party that we're throwing! Everyone's going to be there! It's a great big reunion party. You've got to come Rei. You gotta."

"Oh, hey. Everyone?" Rei tried to sound calm and collected and maybe even cheerily teasing. But his head was pounding so hard in his ears that he couldn't think straight.

"Yeah, everyone. Even Mr. Sourpuss. You have to come. Pass the phone to Lee. We got to talk to him. You're coming, right?"

"Um…" He shot a glance at Mariah and Lee.

In that moment of hesitation, Mariah snatched the phone from him and answered swiftly, "He's coming Tyson. Bet on that. We'll make him."

She pushed him towards the door and said, "Go pack. Now. We leave in the morning."

Rei stumbled out of the door in shock. Things were happening too quickly. A party? Back in Japan? Kai was going?

Huh?

And then heavy reality hit him.

What?

* * *

"You're going to a party Kai. You need to get your lazy ass out of the house sometime." Tyson pronounced with conviction, folding his arms across his chest, as if daring Kai to defy him.

"No."

"It's a reunion party! Don't you want to meet up with the other bladers?"

"No." But his voice trembled slightly, and he was already wondering. Did 'others' include Rei?

"Rei's going."

Kai tensed. Was he that obvious?

"This is your chance to make things right Kai." Tyson added softly, almost as if whispering.

Kai got up, hands balled into tight fists.

"Silence means consent Kai!" Tyson yelled after his retreating back.

Once inside the silence and privacy of his room, Kai slumped against the door, sliding down to rest on his hunches, head bowed. His mind whirled with confusion and disbelief.

7 years, 3 months, 12 days.

But who was counting?

He rose slowly, heading to his bedside table. Unlocking a drawer, he pulled it open, revealing a box. It was a plain black box, with no embellishments on it. And in the box lay, almost forlornly, a single silk headband folded neatly, the ying and yang symbol that was sown in swirled around each other, black against white, taunting him.

_Rei._

* * *

-

End Chapter Seven


	8. One

Standard disclaimer applies-

* * *

'_Footsteps twirling in perfect tandem, making graceful circles amongst the carpet of leaves that spoke of the coming winter. Rosy cheeks stung by passing winds, breathless laughter accentuated by eyes brightly lit with mischief. Hands clasp firmly as one, tugging, pulling, resolution to stay firm long gone because it was you._

'_Drag me into the middle of the yard, throw dignity out the window, ignore what others say, even if they shake their heads in disapproval, or toss their heads in condescension. Draw a bold red line through my perfect record, willingly, because it was you._

_'Rip my heart to shreds, let emotions rule my mind for once. Tattered pieces of my detached image do not matter. And the tears. Tears that I have not shed since I was a mere kid, even after all I have been through. Tears that slip unbidden from my eyes now, because it was you.'

* * *

_

Chapter 8: One

Rei stepped out of the confined space gingerly, meeting Mariah's critical gaze with his own tentative one.

"No." Mariah dismissed at once, throwing another outfit at him.

He sighed heavily in defeat.

"Mariah, this is like, the hundredth outfit you're making me try." He pleaded. Seriously, he did not think that he truly deserved this. He was pretty nice, and had not cheated or done more wrong than the next guy. What was wrong with justice?

"This is the thirty-eighth outfit. Don't exaggerate. Now go and try that one." She gave him a none too gently shove into the changing room, slamming the door loudly behind him.

Rei buried his burning face in his hands, resigning himself to his ill fate, swearing never to take advantage of his student's inability to count properly and short change them of promised sweets.

Fifty-seven outfits and thirty-nine dollars later, they were finally done. Mariah had chosen an outfit that she and Rei could agree on, while keeping to Rei's strict budget of forty bucks.

Mariah rolled her eyes expressively. How was he expecting to look good in forty bucks and the first items of clothing that his hands happened to grab? Honestly, she could never figure out men. They were supposed to be the determined and persistent ones. Didn't Thomas Edison come up with the light bulb after a million failed attempts? How could men give up after a mere few minutes? Sometimes, they were so difficult to comprehend.

Beside her, Rei cluing tightly to the single paper bag in his hand, almost as if afraid that Mariah would change her mind, as she had the previous fifty-six times, and demand that he troop back and try on more clothing. He did not wish to find out what Mariah was muttering under her breath, because she was rolling her eyes dramatically and her hands were flying through the air wildly, and when Mariah was like that, no one went near her.

There was a significant thud as Mariah stopped short in the middle of the asphalt sidewalk and let go of her shopping bags abruptly before proceeding to dash to a nearby shop display window and press her palms flat against the glass, her eyes shining with exhilaration.

Rei felt a shiver of consternation race through him.

In the display window laid a pair of Italian designed leather pants. Mariah gazed fiercely at the sinfully insinuating pants before letting her eyes fall back upon Rei. She smirked - saccharine sweetly, all the while advancing surreptitiously towards Rei.

Not good. Every nerve in Rei's head was going haywire.

"Rei…." Her voice was sugary – obviously, to cover up the inner iniquity lurking not so far-off behind. He was not fooled.

Rei winced and backed up step by step, countenance taut with trepidation.

"Oh no you don't…." To his chagrin, it sounded more frantic than definite and authoritative, as he had intended it to be.

He kept on backing away as Mariah sustained her approach with a hazardously disarming grin that just screamed danger. He bumped right into someone.

There came a shocked intake of breath, and then, "Rei? Is that you?"

Rei spun around on his heels, coming face to face with Tala and Bryan. He had to bite his bottom lip hard to keep in the stunned gasp that threatened to escape. The encounter was a brush of reality to close for comfort. Their presence only served to jog his memory, reminding him of the basis he was here and, undeniably so, Kai. He could not stop himself from wondering if Kai was here with them. His head was pounding.

"Tala? Bryan?"

Mariah came up from behind him, snapping Rei out of his reverie.

"Hey. Rei, Mariah, long time no see."

Mariah and Tala, the more social of the two, began exchanging pleasantries, and the status quo on their current lives. Rei had spaced out after the first few sentences. Stark reality still had his head gyrating wildly.

He glanced at Mariah, her face aglow with excitement, and then at Tala, who was regarding Mariah with an amused expression. As Rei turned away, he felt Bryan's steely gaze on him. He looked up at Bryan in surprise. Bryan stared right back at him. The heated conversation he had overheard between Kai and Bryan came back full force at him, along with its implications. He felt his cheeks heat up and knew that he was blushing.

He averted his gaze immediately, concentrated fixedly on his shoes, an action that was transparently out of place. It was only a few minutes, but to Rei, it was a tangible, uncomfortable eternity that went on and on. He shuffled his feet together. With out glancing up, he knew that Bryan's stare had never wavered. In fact, the intensity only increased.

He felt highly uncomfortable. And then Mariah was tugging at his arm, waving cheerily goodbye to Tala and Bryan, announcing that they had more shopping to do. Tala had laughed out loud at Rei's wince. He raised a hand in acknowledgement. Rei did not miss Bryan's impassive gaze that never left this face, and Tala's knowing smirk that turned the corners of his lips up. Rei frowned. It made Tala look like he was plotting something.

Tala shook his head slowly, the smirk omnipresent.

"Kai is going to flip when he finds out." Tala commented. Bryan noticed the lavish amusement and glee coating his words. One would think that he was getting some kind of perverse pleasure out of Kai's and Rei's dilemma.

"Or at least have a mild heart attack." He added as an afterthought.

"Flip when I find out what?"

Tala and Bryan turned around to see Kai with his hands folded across his chest, looking rather uninterested. Tala's condescending grin that spread across his face morphing into an expression akin to glee.

Kai gave him an apprehensive look, as if uncertain as to whether his previous decision of questioning his friend was still sane, when Tala was obviously was in one of his moods.

"Rei's in town. He just went that way."

Kai's jaw went slack in a rare show of emotion and for the first time in his life, Tala noticed that Kai did not look full of himself. Then Kai lunged forward in the direction of Tala's outstretched forefinger, only to be held back by Tala, who had grabbed a hold of his scarf from behind. Whirling around heatedly, Kai sent Tala the most intimidating glare that he could mange.

"Let me go Tala." He growled from the back of his throat, voice hinting at homicide.

"No way. You'll just go after Rei and mess everything up." The laughter was absent from Tala's voice.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Rei still hasn't got things figured out. You should have seen how he looked when he saw us. Obviously, he would be absolutely unprepared for anything that you're going to throw at him. You'll just end up scaring him away."

"As you did the last time." Bryan added rather maliciously.

Kai ignored him. He gave his scarf a hard tug from Tala, freeing himself from Tala's grasp.

"And…he blushed when he saw Bryan." Tala threw in, watching with amusement as Kai's cheeks flushed a shade of interesting red, blatant proof of the inner turmoil he was having.

He shot a last glare at Tala and Bryan, a glare which lingered longer on Bryan, warning him to just try anything…., and then turned back to the direction in which he came from, alabaster scarf swinging wildly behind it's owner.

Tala and Bryan watched him go. When Kai was safely ten metres away, Bryan finally spoke.

"You shouldn't have said that. You know as well as I do that Rei wasn't blushing at me for any reason that you insinuated and that obviously went through Kai's head."

"I know, I know. I couldn't resist. Hell, he probably figured out what those non too discreet stares you gave him meant."

"Like you're one to speak - King of obvious."

"Hah. My appalling art of discretion aside, we're in for a wild ride of rollercoaster amazement. The joy of seeing those close to you getting together. Denial is born once more."

"You're one evil bastard Tala ."

"I know."

Anyone walking past that particular tract of pavement at the moment wondered about the sanity of a certain read head, who was engaged in the raucous act of throwing his head back and howling with laughter.

-

That bastard. That absolute bastard.

He was pulling moves on Rei. And Rei didn't want them. Bryan was mistaken. Horribly so. Rei hadn't changed. Nothing had. Right?

Naturally.

Then why did his chest tighten uncomfortably at the mere thought? That bastard.

'Watch out kid! Honestly…young people nowadays!' Kai stepped over the old woman's rolling apples and continued manoeuvring his path through the crowd.

And still he hesitated. Why hadn't he wrenched his scarf out of Tala's hands and chased straight after Rei and demand an explanation for his absence for the past few years? Both he and Tala knew that if he had really wanted, Tala hanging onto the end of his scarf wasn't even near stopping him from going after what he wanted.

And yet he had not done so.

Why?

Because deep down, he had believed Tala's words. He was scared. Terrified that things had changed. That he had dropped out of Rei's life, and was no longer wanted. What if he had?

He didn't even want to think about it.

Turning sharply, he let himself into the house, tossing his keys on the kitchen table.

Tyson bounded up to him.

"Kai! You're back. Finally. The main party is about a week from now, but I've organised a small get together for just the Bladebreakers tomorrow. And that means everyone. I still can't believe that Kenny agreed to come. I mean, every time I hint at a gathering for old times sake, he cuts me off by saying that he is pretty tied up at the moment and cannot join us. Sad huh? Come to think of it, I think the only reason he agreed was because Rei would be coming. I think he really misses Rei. And I don't mean in a merely platonic manner…Kai? Hey Kai!"

Max came from behind Tyson, who was staring despondently at Kai's door, smiling sadly while shaking his head.

"You knew that Rei is still a touchy topic with Kai. Why did you do that?"

"It was a joke Max. It wasn't like it was my fault or anything."

"Tyson…"

"What?"

"Never mind. C'mon, let's go get a present for Rei."

"Okay!"

Inside the room, Kai slumped onto his bed, features shaped into a grimace.

Throw Kenny into the mix…great. Just bloody great.

* * *

Rei stood in front of the mirror, frowning at his appearance. He squirmed uncomfortably, trying to make the clothes less, well…less clingy. He swore that Mariah had somehow done something to his clothes to shrink them. Never mind the fact that his clothes were in his possession the entire time. He tugged at the opened collar in front, brows creasing.

The black collared shirt that he wore, and the red slacks that went with it clung around places that he did not want them clinging to. It was too provocative. He did not want to be seen like that. What would Ka- his team think? Gah…who would have thought that he had become so fat in such a short period of time?

The door swung open. Without taking his eyes off his reflection, Rei knew who had just entered.

There was a muffled gasp and Mariah had thrown her arms around from behind him, smiling proudly.

"Rei, oh Rei. You're grown up, I'm so proud of you."

He shrugged her off his shoulders, uncomfortable by the fact that Mariah could probably feel every muscle in my body. What happened to personal space? And what was that bastard Lee smirking about? This was his wife here, with her arms around another man, and he had the nerve to stand there grinning like the idiot he was. And as his best friend, he was completely immune to his fiercest death glares.

"I've grown fat."

There was a strangled choke from behind him, no doubt from that good for nothing traitor. Rei tried reaching his legs out to kick him, but Mariah had let out an indignant squawk, forcing him to look in the mirror. Jabbing viciously at his stomach and chest, she glared at him.

"Kon, Rei! Are you stupid, or are you blind? Tell me, which part of you exactly has got fat?" Golden eyes flashed ominously, and Rei wisely opted to put up a show of slipping into serious contemplation. He realised the façade was unfounded however when Mariah did not pause for his answer, choosing to enlighten him.

"Years of running around among hyper children and through the mountainous landscape have moulded you into a muscled young man, and the past years have lost you your baby fat. Honestly Rei, sometimes you're so ignorant you make me worried."

Rei drew himself out of her reach, still not satisfied with her explanation.

"You never see Rei concerned about his appearance in China. Do you know why Rei's so conscious suddenly? Do you know why he has chosen this moment, as opposed to say, the past seven more years, to spend time deliberating over his appearance? Do you know why, exactly, our dear Rei is so troubled?"

Rei picked up the nearest weapon, his fallen shirt, and rolled it into a ball, aimed directly at Lee's smug face. He didn't know for certain what Lee was going to say, but he had an inkling, and it wasn't a comforting one. Lee turned his smirk on full blast, his mouth parting slightly to reveal the pointed canines inside.

"It is because of Hiwa-"

"Lee….I don't want to punch you…"

"Hiwata-"

"This is your last warning…"

"Hiwatari K-"

"LEE!"

"Hi-"

A black blur shot past Mariah, and Lee was taken down onto the floor, both of them rolling around on the floor over each other, aiming to top the other. They became a mass of wildly swinging limbs, till Mariah could not make out one from the other.

Lee managed to get a good kick at Rei's shins, coming up for a breather.

"Hiwatari KAI!" Lee yelped triumphantly, sounding like a cat that just got the cream.

Tragic, really, because that would be his last words.

* * *

Kai traced a finger around the inner circumference of his cuffs. He hated collar shirts, but Mr. Dickenson had arranged for the dinner to be located at an up-class buffet restaurant, and there was a dress code to adhere to. Staring at his mirror image, he chose to let his shirt tail hang out. With his hair falling messily over his eyes and curling slightly outwards at the nape of his neck, and donned in dark blue jeans covered slightly by his over hanging white shirt, he would be getting more than his usual fare of open stares and gaping mouths.

But the only mouth he wanted falling open and the only pair of eyes he sought to grab the attention of was that of Rei. There. He said it. He was past denial.

He detested the growing trepidation that constricted his chest, blatant proof of his nervousness. Kai did not think that he had once bothered about his appearance to this degree. Damn.

He wanted to make a good second first impression.

Tyson tapped the toe of his shoes against the wooden floor, clicking his teeth together edgily. His tolerance was near point zero, and right now, it was just about used up. Max shot Tyson minute glances, careful to keep check and make sure that Tyson did not implode, in this circumstance a high plausibility. He chose to ignore the fact that the incessant tap of sole on wood was getting rather exasperating. Tyson flipped his wristwatch up for the umpteenth time, eyes tracing the digits that flickered across the screen. Kai was…five minutes, 24 seconds late, and counting.

Kai was never late.

What was he doing in the room anyway? Did he fall asleep? That could not have happened. Hiwataris did not fall asleep randomly. They conducted themselves with the utmost lucidness, and to fall asleep would be unthinkable. Perhaps he chickened out at the last minute because Rei was going? Hah! Same concept, even more improbable. Then what? Tyson lifted his feet off the floor, counted to ten, and continued to tap his feet, this time in succession, one foot before the other.

"That's it."

He leapt out of his seat with wrought determination, taking purposeful strides to Kai's room. Max hurriedly stood up and scrambled after him, chair screeching against the floorboards as he pushed it back. He had to be present to make sure that Kai and Tyson did not have one of their conflicts, making them even later then they already were. What would Rei and Chief think? Ex-team mates who have not seen each other for over seven years, and they had the gall to come late.

Tyson reached out a hand to rap against the door, when it swung open, revealing a slightly ruffled Kai. Max had to stifle a grin. Someone had obviously taken painstaking efforts to look his best…perhaps, for Rei? Their relationship stood some chance yet. Before any words could be exchanged, Max had grabbed a hold of Tyson, pulling him forcibly out of the door, yelling over his shoulder at Kai to hurry up.

"Don't try or say anything funny. Try not to make things awkward for Rei and Kai alright? Did you see how Kai was dressed up? Don't try anything funny, or anything to make us feel an emotion remotely near embarrassed, like piling your plate with food, or making non-too subtle hints. Do you understand me Tyson Kinomiya?"

"Who, me? You must have gotten the wrong guy Max." Tyson blinked innocently, mentally crossing out the hogging of the buffet table and the helpful push that he had planned for Kai and Rei.

"I'm serious."

"Geez…alright. I understand. Leave them alone? Gotcha. But don't come complaining to me when Kai does something stupid again."

Max parted his lips to retort, but by then Kai had the keys in the ignition and was frowning at them.

* * *

He was late.

Rei couldn't believe it. The first meeting since forever; the first time he meets any of his team mates from the time when he ran away, and he was late.

It was all Lee's fault. Mariah made him change out again and iron the clothes and then she had combed out his hair and plaited it and then made him change back into the ironed clothes. And Lee lurked somewhere in the murky depths of the background, openly laughing at his predicament. He was the one who started the argument. Lee paid completely no heed to the numerous warnings that he shot in his direction.

As he rushed down the streets, clothes billowing out behind him, Rei kept his mind occupied from panicking by trying to picture the team's individual reactions.

Chief would probably have brought along Dizzy, but knowing Max and Tyson, they would have confiscated it from him and made him talk to them. They would be catching up, and Chief would try to get them interested in the department he was working in, so that one of them would pass Dizzy back to him so that he could show them more into the development of the current project he was working on.

Tyson would probably sidetrack through the spiel and complain loudly how terribly hungry he was and probably cursing him too. But he would not be able to start first, because Max would lecture him about respect and how you were supposed to wait for people and that he had not been in Japan for such a long time that he had plausibly gotten lost and it was not Rei's fault. He could even picture Tyson's pout and whine of protest.

And Kai, oh damn –Kai. He would be sitting in his corner, head tilted downwards, shutting off the rest of the team. Looking as impossible as ever.

Rei twisted his body to slide in between a couple, yelling sorry without turning around. Late. No one liked being kept waiting. Tyson would blast his ear drums off. Kai would not comment on it, but he was sure that the death glare was still as effective as it was in the past. Max would offer him a gentle smile and tell him not to worry about, all the while hanging onto the end of Tyson's clothes. Chief would be on the other side of Tyson, clocking his timing, and giving him a slight reprimand.

He wondered how they looked like now. Certainly, they would not look the same. Adults never shared their same appearance as when they were once teenagers.

He turned down into the street which tapered into an endless stream of brightly lit shops selling an array of items, and dimly lit restaurants to give off the desired ambience. The place was alive with people.

He stopped in front of the building. It was dark inside; so dark that he could not depict anything. But the clinking of glasses and the low murmur that originated from the interior proved there were people within.

Rei resisted reaching up to smooth the creases from his clothes, chiding himself. What was there to show? It wasn't as if they were going to be interested whether he wore creased clothes or a neatly ironed one.

The door clinked open and for what seemed like the hundredth time, Tyson, Max and Kai glanced up to eye the person that had just entered. Chief was absorbed in his laptop, which had started singing horribly when taken away, and was thus hurriedly forced to return to him. Tyson did not want to be thrown out of the restaurant.

Through the dim lighting, Kai caught the swing of hair behind the person, hair so long that it could only mean one person. He lowered his head slowly, not wanting to meet Rei's eyes. It would be awkward; much too awkward. And besides, if Rei turned his bright amber irises on him, who knew what stupid things he would do, like choking on air or one of those uncomfortable situations that he seemed to get into when in the near vicinity of Rei.

"REI KON! YOU'RE LATE!"

Tyson leapt up from his seat excitedly, reaching out to grab Rei and drag him under the lights.

"Rei!"

He met the eager gaze of Max and…the mess of hair that belonged to Chief. They were taller, no denying that, but apart from that, their features had pretty much remained the same. And of course, they had lost the baby chubbiness from their cheeks. An inexplicably warming feeling coursed through him, and he smiled. He had almost forgotten how great it was to be around them. It had been a hell of a long time. He missed them so much.

"Hey Max, Chief. Long time no see eh?"

"Too true." Chief shook his head, thinking how time had passed since they were all last together.

"Woah…looking great eh Rei? Why the sudden interest in dressing u-ouch! Max! What was that for?"

"Huh? What was what for? I didn't do anything." The innocuous façade was on full blast. Max stole a glance at the immobile Kai, finding himself actually wondering if he had gone to sleep.

"Don't lie to me." Tyson did not sound too sure of himself though.

"I won't lie if you remember what you promised me before this." Ah…the look was gone, replaced with a levelled gaze that had Tyson gulping.

"What! This has got nothing to do with before."

"Oh ye-"

"Okay guys. Break it up! Geez, I don't know how you people managed to survive without me for so long. Man, you guys are so lucky that I'm back." Rei was smacked on the head by Max, both of them laughing.

"Right Rei." Tyson rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, moving on to more important things…FOOD!" Cheering, Tyson leapt up from his seat, charging towards the buffet table.

Max and Chief hurried after him, worried that he would clean out the food, it had happened before, and thusly get them thrown out of the restaurant.

Rei shook his head, missing the old days. It was so wonderful to see them once more. He got up from his seat, his eyes betraying him by looking towards Kai. The words spilled from his lips before he knew it.

"Coming Kai?"

And then, as if realising what he did was taboo, he spun around hurriedly, moving towards the buffet table.

Kai raised his head, only to see the tail end of Rei's braid swinging after him, out of view. Kai's mouth was parted slightly, and he was grinning.

-

Rei stepped out to get some fresh air. He was completely bloated. That was enough to last him a week. The sky was an inky black, and chilly air blew across his face. He closed his eyes, smiling contentedly. The evening had gone rather well, from Max placing half of what Tyson had taken back onto the trays, to the three of them managing to get Chief to part with his laptop. Just like the old days.

There was a movement from behind him and before he could respond, Kai was beside him. Rei held his breath, almost afraid to spoil the peaceful silence that they shared. His body tensed up. How they managed to get this comfortable after all that happened he was not sure, but he was about to question it.

His eyes shifted to Kai, taking him in. Kai had been training, that was for sure. He had kept himself in tip top condition. He looked really really good. Piercing hurt flashed through his heart, and he found himself wondering if he would ever be good enough for Kai.

"Can you see the stars?"

Starting from the sound of Kai's voice, he glanced up towards the night sky as well. God, he had missed that voice. Be it to yell at them or say something pleasant in one of his almost non-existent convivial moments, Kai would always sound…he didn't know, just like he was trying to pick them up or something. With that attitude to match, Rei was falling all over for him again.

If he thought back in China that he could forget Kai and start his life all over again without him present, he was sure that could never happen now. None of his constant dreams and wandering feelings could match up to reality. Kai, standing right next to him, still had his head reeling.

The stars twinkled down cheerily at him.

"What are you doing here Rei?"

Rei did not know whether Kai was referring to Japan, or outside. He wasn't even sure why Kai wanted to pretend that nothing ever happened, but if he wanted it that way, Rei was fine with it.

"I'm enjoying the scenery."

Kai looked around. Dustbins, parked cars and trees lined the streets of Japan.

A plastic bag rolled by.

"Interesting. I had no idea you missed Japan so much."

Was that supposed to be sarcastic? Rei could never figure him out. Even after so long, Kai was as much an enigma as ever. One would think that Kai could only hide so much.

"Yeah. I missed the Bladebreakers too. I was thinking about you guys on my way here." Rei had no idea what he was talking about himself. Why did he always turn into a blubbering mess when he was around? What kind of stupid answer was that anyway?

"Oh really? What did you think of about me?" Shit. He did not say that. He did not. Please, tell him he didn't. Kai felt like hitting himself. Stupid.

"I thought about you being surrounded by fan girls." What the ?

"Is that jealousy I sense Rei?" Kai prayed fervently that that did not warrant him a death sentence. Was that teasing too far out? Was he entitled to joke around like that while their relationship was still this unstable? Once upon a time, he would not have thought to consider that.

Rei choked.

"The hell? Of course it's not!" Rei swung around to head back to the restaurant, silently fuming. Everything was going really well, and Kai just had to say that didn't he? That letter was a dumb idea. He wasn't ever going to leave letters when he left again. Now he was certain that Kai had read the letter. And he was maximising its potential to torment him. Rei felt humiliated.

The sound of leaving footsteps passed, and Kai really did hit himself this time, annoyed at himself.

What the hell had he said? That had got to be the dumbest thing he had said in his entire life. Could he never learn to do it right? Why did he have to provoke Rei every time they met?

And he didn't even get to say what he had set out to in the first place.

He didn't get to tell Rei he looked stunning.

-

End Chapter Eight


	9. An Unending Circle

Standard disclaimer applies -

* * *

'_It has come to this – the point where nothing else matters anymore. I am merely clinging on to a single ray of hope. Hope that may disappear at a moment's notice, leaving me to stumble backwards, reeling from the blow. _

'_It's all I've got left. It's all that is relevant. It's all I desire. _

'_Forgive me, please. _

'_Forgive me, and I'll show you that I can do better. Forgive me, for I would never commit that mistake twice. Forgive me, for I have no where else to turn to if you leave me in the lurch. Forgive me, because I need you to. Forgive me, I am begging you. Forgive me, Rei.'

* * *

_

Chapter 9: And Unending Circle

Rei slammed the empty mug on the table, groaning as he buried his head in defeat within his arms.

Seven years.

Seven years and the palpable uneasiness within him remained as acerbic as ever. Seven years of thinking about everything, his breath catching in his throat every single time he imagined the possibilities. Seven years and he remained clueless as to how he should act.

Damn was he hopeless.

He stifled a frustrated sob, the action sending a tremor through his body. Things had never gone the way he had wished and he doubted they ever would. Each time he raised his hopes, it was only to have them come crashing down on him once more. He should just give up.

Run away from him. Like he had ran away seven years ago on a plane all the way to China, like he had ran away just now, slipping through the doors quietly and bolting out of the restaurant and into the first bar he saw along the streets.

The exorbitantly loud music was blasting his ears and the one too many drinks that he had downed was enough to make his head spin. The thought that at least an hour had passed and the others must be wondering where he was now registered briefly in his mind. He slapped some notes on the bar top before pushing his chair back and standing up. Only to have to grab onto the chair. The smallest movement had his head reeling, which threw things out of focus.

Shit.

Gripping the edge of the chair so tight it hurt, he pulled himself pass the mess of gyrating bodies, moving towards the exit.

Even with nothing to hinder him, Rei found it exceedingly difficult to walk properly in some semblance of a straight line, not when his legs threatened to give way beneath him. So when someone brushed past him rather boldly, he found himself staggering backwards.

Just as Rei stumbled, a hand came up from behind and caught him before he could hit the floor. Turning his head to gaze blurrily at that person, his mind noted through the haze clouding his mind that the hand was moving onto places that he did not want it to, and the face in front of him was ugly and leering. Not like Kai's, his mind added slyly, and with his brain working at such a sluggish pace, his subconscious agreed.

The man breathed in his face, mouth twisting into an ugly sneer as he pulled Rei closer towards him. His lips formed words Rei did not hear. The pounding headache and the blasting music made it impossible to comprehend what the guy grabbing him was saying.

The arm encircling his waist made it difficult for him to twist away, and he did not like the way the guy was leaning towards him. He started to free himself from the tenacious grip, but that only served for it to tighten till it started to hurt, and Rei whined in annoyance, attempting to pull away with more force.

"Nope. You're not getting anyway." The words were breathed out into the shell of his ear, and Rei flinched when the unwelcome blast of dank breath hit him.

"Let...me go." Rei growled, the words slung together in a slur. Instinct was screaming at him to get the hell out of there.

"Feisty, eh? You won't be for long." The leering was getting to Rei. The arm was restricting his movement and he detested being held captive against his will.

"What's the matter? Stop trying to get away. There's no one here to help you. It's not like you're taken." The guy smirked and yanked Rei's bent half bent over form up. He moved his head towards the dazed Rei, going straight for his lips - and found himself flung to the floor, his jaw throbbing.

Standing above him, mahogany eyes blazing so fiercely it sent shivers of trepidation shooting warningly down his spine, was Kai.

"You bastard. Never, ever do that again. I would not hesitate to break your pathetic neck."

With a possessive arm wrapped tightly around Rei, pressing him to his body firmly to keep him balanced, Kai glared down at the man who dared make a move on Rei, taking advantage of his incapability to defend himself when he was wasted. If not for the fact that he had to support Rei and make sure he did not collapse to the ground, he would be pummelling that prick six feet under.

"And don't you dare go around talking about things you don't know about."

Because Rei _was _taken.

Even if Rei himself did not know it. Even if Rei did not wish it any longer. Even if it had been over seven years.

"Damn it!" Kai hissed, mahogany orbs flashing defiantly.

Rei was taken.

-

_I may go on trying to kid myself, hoping against hope that what I feel is merely infatuation; that the ardour would eventually cool and dissipate just like that, to be forgotten. _

_Inside though, I know I'm weaving a bare-faced lie, and day after day, I find myself falling short of the ability to conceal it._

-

Kai did not know where Rei's hotel was, but that did nothing to deter him. He was not leaving while Rei was intoxicated. What had he been thinking? Surely he had to know he would have been taken advantage of while he was in this kind of state.

Ignoring the blatant stares eyeing them, Kai slung an arm around Rei's shoulder, using the other to pull Rei so close to him there was no space between them. He glared at the people obstructing his path, the blazing ferocity marking his countenance doubled with the punch they had just witnessed made them step out of the way hurriedly.

And with the same steel willed determination that Kai used to search the shops along the street to find Rei, he scooped the now sleeping Rei into his arms and marched up to what seemed to be every single hotel reception desk in the city. It did not matter when Rei dribbled onto his brand new collar shirt, or when people turned their heads and ogled, or when their gazes lingered for far too long, or when his arms ached and went so numb he could no longer feel them.

-

_I know vindictiveness has always been a constant in my life, but that somehow seems to be an exception when dealing with you. _

_Now though, I want you to feel what you're putting me through; want you to feel that desperate frustration that courses through me every single breathing moment. _

_For that would be the only way I would feel justice is done. _

_That would be the only way you could want me enough to forgive me. _

-

When Mariah and Lee answered the door, Rei was lying on the floor just outside, contentedly curled into a tight ball. There was no one else.

* * *

"First day back to Japan and you get smashed Rei? That's not exactly model citizen behaviour don't you think?"

"Ha. Ha. Very funny Michael. Please excuse me so I can head over to Mariah and Lee and mutilate them for getting a kick out of my life."

He managed to stand up and take a few steps before Bryan came up from behind Rei, slipping a possessive arm around his shoulders. Rei glanced up, surprised. But Bryan was not looking at him.

He was staring past his shoulders, straight at Kai. Who currently had his eyes lowered to the table, and was staring fixedly on his plate. Though his gaze was not upon them, the telltale sign of his tightly clenched fists, and the traitorous trembling of the table he sat at said he had seen everything.

"Bryan?"

Bryan lowered his gaze to meet Rei's confused but polite one. He made sure his voice was loud enough for Kai to hear.

"Yeah... would you like to take a stroll with me Rei? I'd like a talk."

His eyes left Rei's halfway through the dialogue, and trained themselves on Kai's bent over form instead.

Kai stood up abruptly, balled fists pushing his seat away from the table roughly.

"Hey Kai! Where are you going?" Tyson yelled from across the table.

"I'm going back to the hotel room first," he ground out through his teeth, head ducked away from view, face hidden behind navy blue bangs. Although they lived within the city, Tyson planned on staying the night to catch up with the rest of the teams who had flown over, and being their driver, Kai had chosen getting a room over making two trips back and forth.

As Kai brushed past him, Bryan felt more than saw the fiery mahogany orbs burning fiercely through him, and knew that Kai was staring fixedly at the arm he still had around Rei.

When he was certain Kai was out of earshot, he steered a bewildered Rei gently but firmly away from anyone whose attention was focused on something that did not concern him or her.

When they were out of the bustling restaurant and into the quiet streets, Bryan withdrew his arm and shoved his hands in his pockets, taking slow, leisurely steps. Rei fell into pace beside him, as silent as he was. He gazing at the inky night sky that was dotted with stars. It was so peaceful, so tranquil and calming that he felt himself give a wistful sigh. He still loved stargazing.

It was just that for quite awhile, things had been happening so quickly, what with the party and dealing with Kai again - too quickly, that he was left breathless and just could not manage to find the time anymore to indulge in what he once considered his favourite past time. But things were falling into place by themselves now, and maybe, it was time to relax a little.

He would not think about the fact this relationship with Kai - wait. What relationship? Rei bit back a bitter laugh.

He needed to stop dwelling in the past, and just let go of things that were not meant to happen. Stuff like that you could not change it to suit however you wanted history to be written. You just could not. Besides, he needed a break from thinking about him.

-

_When the stars shine their brightest and everyone else is sound asleep, I lie awake, alone. My thoughts come in black and white, and all that runs through my mind is you. You, you, you. And though you may not be aware of it, you own me, completely. _

-

"Rei." Bryan began, surprising Rei out of his contemplative reverie.

"Yeah?"

Bryan heaved a deep sigh.

"Some things," he began. No that was not right. He could not begin like that. It was too awkward.

"Certain people -" That would not do either.

Bryan decided then that discretion could be shot to hell for all he cared.

He was doing this his way.

"Are you gay?" He asked abruptly.

Rei faltered in his steps. It was not so much the question as the tone in which Bryan had phrased it. He had been so calm and indifferent. Rei found it hard to believe.

Bryan glanced down at the top of Rei's head. Leaning forward to get a better view of Rei in the dim street lamps, he realised that Rei's cheeks had flared up furiously. He chuckled to himself.

"I'll take that was a yes."

Rei remained silent.

"I am, too." Bryan shrugged his shoulders.

That got a response.

The golden orbs widened and Rei's mouth dropped open.

"I...um..."

Bryan laughed, the sound coming out rough and crude, almost like he was unused to doing it. He waved his head in the air awkwardly and continued on ahead.

Rei jogged up from behind him, after he had gotten his body to start working again.

They walked on a while more, enjoying the salty sea spray that breezed across their faces.

Bryan paused in his tracks suddenly, turning to face Rei, who did the same. Then, without prior warning, Bryan bent forward, and pressed his lips to Rei's.

Rei's eyes widened much more this time, the shock filtering through him quickly. His mouth dropped open, which was not such a wise move all things considered, because Bryan leaned further in and swept his tongue roughly against Rei's before pulling back.

Rei bent over immediately, hacking away.

Though that was more for an excuse to avoid Bryan's stare, which he was certain would be aimed directly at him. When he could not pretend to be choking any longer, he stopped coughing and took deep heaving breaths instead. He could not face Bryan, not just yet anyway.

Damn it!

He did not need this, on top of everything. Not now, not ever, but especially not now, when he was still reeling from being around Kai and having the memories flood him once more.

Bryan had absolutely no right to go ahead and do that without his permission. He had no right to make things more confusing than they already were.

"What was that for?" Rei frowned, the indignation in his voice coming out rougher than he had intended it to.

"You didn't enjoy it, did you?"

His tone was so calm, so collected, so damn expressionless that Rei turned an incredulous glare at him, straightening up.

Bryan went on, locking eyes with Rei to get his full attention. He need not have bothered.

"We are both unattached. That kiss would have been perfectly fine, if not for the fact that you already have someone else in mind. No one's kiss besides his would be allowed by you. No one except him can hit straight to your heart, and make you feel the way you do, the way you want to. No one could rile you up the way he can.

"These things don't need to be voiced out Rei. It's there, whether you like it or not, whether it's welcomed or not, whether you're prepared for it, and you know it.

"You damn well know it Rei. You know what I'm talking about, and you know who I'm talking about."

Bryan took a deep breath. He rarely spoke, and when he did, it was usually in monosyllables.

"Go get him. You know both of you want it. Do it. Do it now, before it's too late."

Then he strode away, his strides as long as he could make them without him actually breaking into a run.

Damn if this wasn't tearing him apart.

* * *

-

_Turning on my heel and making to walk away from you was somehow harder than I had ever imagined. My legs feel like lead, and moving would be detrimental to my welfare. I try to, anyway. I stumble. _

-

Rei turned the bolt as quietly as he could, not wanting to make any noise. Leaning his weight against the door, he stepped into the room cautiously, eyes darting around, searching the room for a familiar figure.

He closed the door behind him just as silently before making towards the balcony, certain that he would find his ex-captain there.

Sure enough, Kai was standing just before the barrister, his head tilted slightly as he gazed upwards at the night sky. A breeze swept through the area, sending a slight shiver down Rei's spine, teasing his fringe as it trailed along.

_Do something. Convince me. Make me stay. _

Kai chose that moment to turn and face him, the seriousness of his stare wiping away any traces of the tentative smile that had been on his face.

He took a deep breath. He was not going to blow it this time. They were adults now, not teenagers, and with seven years between them, he would not hold anything back, but tell him the absolute truth. They were civilised people, and not one voice would be raised to a ye- did Kai just _turn his back on him_!

"Did you just turn your back on me? Oh no you don't, Kai freaking Hiwatari! You don't just turn your back on people who are trying to get the courage to fix a mistake that you made seven years ago, which is much more than I can say for what you are doing!" His eyes flashed dangerously, and unconsciously, his fist balled tightly and his foot took a definite step forward.

"_My _mistake, Rei? Who was the one who upped and left in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye to my face? What was it? Were you too cowardly or scared to face me? Is that it?" Kai's tone was as smooth as ever, and one would have thought him calm and composed if not for the glare in his eyes and the aggressive stride towards Rei.

"What? I left a letter didn't I? And yes – _your_ mistake. You _slapped_ me Kai. You fucking slapped me! Oh I'm so sorry I didn't take that as an invitation to stay, because I forgot that everyoneknows slapping means everything is just fine and dandy, and it is common etiquette to slap people you like!" Seething, he moved closer to yell in Kai's face.

"A letter that I only got at the last minute? I tried to get to you, but you think I can outrun a plane? I said I was sorry, but you didn't stop to listen, did you, because you just ran out of the house, kicking up a big fuss about the matter. That is just so like you Rei.

"And think about it. I would have granted you permission to go back and visit China had you actually listened to me before that and given me the fucking chance to explain myself."

"Just like me? _Just like me?_ Well excuse me for making a fuss out of being slapped because people like you probably slap others all the time, don't they? People like you, people with ice for hearts and masks for faces."

"Rei."

"And you started it by assuming I lied about staying up with Mariah so stop being a hypocrite by saying I didn't give you the fucking chance to explain because you started it!"

"Rei."

"And last minute? I didn't know you'd be so stupid not to get the letter because that day was the day you should have changed the bed sheets but I bet you didn't know that because I always do it!"

"_Rei_."

"What!"

"Shut up."

And how could Kai resist, with emotions coursing through him and after seven years that felt like an eternity, with Rei directly beneath him, breathless and charged up like that. Kai let his eyes close slowly as he leaned down, his lips drawing closer and closer, and gaping opening suddenly in a howl.

"What the fuck? Did you just step on my foot!"

"Yes I did. Don't tell me to shut up, okay? No one tells me to sh-mmphh"

_-_

_Sometimes, the thought flashes through my mind, and I push it away hurriedly, because such a line of thought is akin to taboo. Sometimes though, I entertain that thought a little longer than usual, because it is difficult not to. Sometimes, I wish that we never met, because now I have got my heart set on you._

-

Kai, years of pent up frustration dominating his mind, had chosen to shut Rei up himself rather than telling him, by claiming his lips rather thoroughly. Seven years, three months and fifteen days - there was nothing tentative about the kiss.

Rei pulled away suddenly, pushing back against Kai with his hands. Amber eyes flashed warningly.

"Don't you ever dare do that again Hiwatari."

Kai felt his chest constrict.

"Don't you dare let me go just like that. Never try to pull anything like that ever again. Do you understand me Kai Hiwatari?"

If that was what Rei was getting all worked up about, then his worries were unfounded. Kai had no intention of being that stupid once more.

"I swear Kai, that if you do, I'll never-"

He never found out what would happen to him otherwise, but that did not matter, because it would never happen.

"Trust me Rei," he whispered into the stunned silence, taking away his finger from Rei's lips. "It'll never happen again. I promise. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry." Kai placed a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm sorry." A kiss on his cheek.

"I'm sorry." On his lips.

"I'm sorry." Neck.

Rei detached himself from Kai, placing his head against his chest, fringe tickling Kai's chin.

"Remember that night we first met after so long? Remember what you said? It wasn't jealousy Kai."

"Nnn..."

"Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you're mine."

Ahh...well, that was true enough, even if Kai failed to see the logic behind the statement.

-

_I try to push the memory of you from my mind, knowing that the longer you stay, the tougher it would be for me to clear it, the harder I would take the inevitable rejection, the more I want to brand you as mine. _

_I try to forget, but it isn't as easy as it should be. _

-

As if to ascertain what he had stated, Rei grabbed Kai's chin, pulling him down as he leaned upwards to meet him in a kiss. Lips moved against each other before parting, and Kai pushed his tongue into Rei's mouth, feeling teeth scraping against it before lapping at Rei's tongue. Rei's hands moved from his chin to around his neck, clasping together and tugging Kai closer as Kai's fingers stole around the neko-jin's waist, sitting rather comfortably there.

Finally, for need of air, they broke apart, leaning upon each other in silence. Kai tugged at Rei, leading him into the room and sliding the balcony door shut. He pushed Rei gently against the wall and stepped back so he could see him properly.

"Rei?" Kai whispered, right hand brushing softly against his locks.

"Hm?"

Kai's hands held down both his shoulder, crimson robs staring with utmost seriousness, forcing Rei to look him in the eye.

"I didn't mean to get angry with you. I didn't mean to hurt you in any way."

"Hm."

The grip tightened.

"Rei. Believe me. I didn't mean it. I thought I was protecting you from Mariah, because I thought she was after you, and I knew she could not give you complete happiness."

"Oh, and you can?" There was the slightest hint of a tease playing on his tone, and Rei had the beginnings of a smile on his lips.

But Kai had never dropped his serious gaze.

There was a pause. Kai took a deep breath.

"I can."

He knew that one did not forget friendships being torn apart, knew that acerbic words pierced deep into your very being left a scar that never healed.

The bond he and Rei once shared would not be as it was. It would have to be pieced together carefully, fragments fitting like those of a jigsaw puzzle, to create a perfect picture. It would take much time and much effort.

He wasn't stupid.

But this - this was a start. A good start. A start that Kai would make sure saw an end. The first pieces of the puzzle had been put together.

Who knew? Perhaps, maybe, just maybe, he would defy the impossible, and heal the scar he created.

He would see the puzzle through completion.

Just as Kai leaned forward to continue from where they had left off, furious pounding on the door made him jerk away in irritation and head quickly over to the door, flinging it open with annoyance in expression and a growl in his tone.

"What."

If Tyson had been one to think about his well being, he would have stepped away as fast as he could and sprinted straight back for the lifts. As it was, he peered past Kai like he did not exist, straining to see into the darkened interior of the room.

"Whoa."

If it had just been Tyson, Kai would have handled it just fine. He could probably have smacked him on the head and shot a glare that screamed 'scram' and Tyson would have gone. But against Tyson, Max, Tala, Bryan, and what seemed to be just about every single prying lunatic involved with the BBA, even Kai Hiwatari would be stunned for a moment. A roar went up as Kai appeared in the door frame, tall and imposing. He felt mortified that he actually knew these idiots.

"You _are _correct. Rei _isn't_ dead. Seven years _is_ the longest they could stand. This party _has_ been their downfall. Man, for amazing mental prowess, I gladly give up my ten bucks." Tyson slapped said amount into Tala's outstretched hand.

Tala managed to shoot a grin and raise an eyebrow at him before the door was rather rudely slammed in his face.

_Sometimes, we make mistakes that change our lives. _

Kai spun on his feet, muttering heavily under breath about dim-witted fools who had nothing better to do than stick their overgrown noses in other people's business.

_Mistakes whose implications we really feel after everything has been said and done. _

And Rei was laughing at him, damn it. He wasn't allowed to laugh.

_Mistakes that make us really hate ourselves. _

Kai made sure that laughing of any sort would be the last thing on Rei's mind when he grabbed him again, fusing his body against his.

_Mistakes that make us wish we could turn back the hands of a clock, go back into the past, just to do it all again, differently. _

And sometimes, for some lucky people, they do get the opportunity to correct that mistake. They do get that chance.

_One more chance._

With both of them occupied, none of them had any idea where they were heading.

_One last chance. _

Kai's legs hit the board of the bed and, entangled in one another, they tumbled into it.

* * *

-

End Chapter Nine

-

End One Last Chance


End file.
